FreeLadyLove https://www.freeladylove.com Girls Never Pay Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:30:17 +0000 en-GB hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.13 https://www.freeladylove.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/logo-150x68.png FreeLadyLove https://www.freeladylove.com 32 32 How to ask out a Hungarian girl? https://www.freeladylove.com/how-to-ask-out-a-hungarian-girl/ Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:30:17 +0000 https://www.freeladylove.com/?guid=b3fe6d67fa677ae10a057d46c34e21e4

I live in Paris and I just met this Hungarian girl whom I’m super fond of. We have chatted one or two times and we have a lot in common in terms of tastes and opinions. However, since I don’t know how things work in Hungary, I’m afraid I might move too fast. What is the right way to approach her? And, if I manage to get a first date, how should I proceed?

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Dating App Advicd https://www.freeladylove.com/dating-app-advicd/ Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:27:57 +0000 https://www.freeladylove.com/?guid=5576eff192c9752d6f2ed63db31677f7

For the last, oh year and half, I've been trying to use dating apps. I've changed my profiles up from time to time, ive used different apps, but I never get anywhere. I can't even get to an actual date. Everyone talks to me for a few days at most and then stops replying. And I get very few matches in the first place. I know it's harder for guys in apps, or so I've heard, but it's just getting disheartening. Like, am I the most boring person alive or just unattractive as hell?

Is there any advice people can give to help?

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For the last, oh year and half, I've been trying to use dating apps. I've changed my profiles up from time to time, ive used different apps, but I never get anywhere. I can't even get to an actual date. Everyone talks to me for a few days at most and then stops replying. And I get very few matches in the first place. I know it's harder for guys in apps, or so I've heard, but it's just getting disheartening. Like, am I the most boring person alive or just unattractive as hell?

Is there any advice people can give to help?

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I was out for a coffee with a classmate today. I don’t think she considered it was a date. How do I make my intentions clear? https://www.freeladylove.com/i-was-out-for-a-coffee-with-a-classmate-today-i-dont-think-she-considered-it-was-a-date-how-do-i-make-my-intentions-clear/ Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:21:35 +0000 https://www.freeladylove.com/?guid=80713a3adea1d767f3d7aec0abb071b5

We’ve been talking a lot lately, and a new cafe just opened in town so I asked her out. We went today, and went for a long walk by the beach afterwards and such. But I’m unsure if she considered it a date more than just grabbing a coffee with a friend.

How do I make my intentions clear?

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I can’t get romantically attached to people https://www.freeladylove.com/i-cant-get-romantically-attached-to-people/ Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:17:32 +0000 https://www.freeladylove.com/?guid=99973e8d155a6a77b3d202ac0c27fd03

I don't have any traumas, or any relationships that made me suffer so bad that i'm "scared" to get attached, but, everytime I meet a great guy, that I'm attracted to and with who I have fun, we talk and no matter how long we hang out or how much we hang out, or if I feel comfortable, I don't get attached. I am scared of comittement (for i don't know what reasons too), and the more serious things become, I do get scared, but even if I hang out with the person a lot, and actually have fun, and get to know the person, I don't get attached, that's what happened in my sort of past relationship, we were in class together (and that wasn't an issue), we got closer, but I've never loved him, whereas we would spend so many days together, talking, having fun and stuff, and I don't understand why things are like that, i feel like I can't care about someone in a romantic/love way, and it's only in those circomstances that it happens, cause I have a wonderful bestfriend, and I do love her verymuch, but whenever it's something romantic, I naturally don't get attached/don't fall in love/don't love and I feel stuck.

I would love to know if anyone has been in my case, or if anyone has aany tips lol

TL;DR : whenever I get romantically involved with someone, I just don't get attached to them/don't fall in love/don't love them.

submitted by /u/MmeBowary
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I don't have any traumas, or any relationships that made me suffer so bad that i'm "scared" to get attached, but, everytime I meet a great guy, that I'm attracted to and with who I have fun, we talk and no matter how long we hang out or how much we hang out, or if I feel comfortable, I don't get attached. I am scared of comittement (for i don't know what reasons too), and the more serious things become, I do get scared, but even if I hang out with the person a lot, and actually have fun, and get to know the person, I don't get attached, that's what happened in my sort of past relationship, we were in class together (and that wasn't an issue), we got closer, but I've never loved him, whereas we would spend so many days together, talking, having fun and stuff, and I don't understand why things are like that, i feel like I can't care about someone in a romantic/love way, and it's only in those circomstances that it happens, cause I have a wonderful bestfriend, and I do love her verymuch, but whenever it's something romantic, I naturally don't get attached/don't fall in love/don't love and I feel stuck.

I would love to know if anyone has been in my case, or if anyone has aany tips lol

TL;DR : whenever I get romantically involved with someone, I just don't get attached to them/don't fall in love/don't love them.

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Can chemistry develop in a later stage of life, with a person? https://www.freeladylove.com/can-chemistry-develop-in-a-later-stage-of-life-with-a-person/ Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:17:16 +0000 https://www.freeladylove.com/?guid=f6c643e2b906262003c3045a896e8bcc

Let's say there was no chemistry from your side between you and a best friend that was in love for you, and you decided to separate your paths permanently to stop suffering. A decade later, you meet again this person, that you knew very very well years ago. Is it possible you feel any chemistry? Sparks? Or once you know that person and it "failed", it means it's doomed forever and rest in peace?

I [F32] am going to meet again an old best friend [M27] who rejected me romantically 7 years ago because there was no romance from his side, I moved on and had my life, other partners, a job etc. We're again in contact online from some days, he is pretty much interested in my life, asks things etc, and we're going to meet to update each other, "just because". Might he feel something for me now, after all this time? We both changed...
I'd be unprepared for a plot twist like that, I mean I genuinely don't feel anything anymore for him, I've just memories of our special and close friendship, I remember everything of his life until that point and he remembers mine etc. But I mean I moved on. I'm kind of scared it might happen something from his side, although back in the time it was literally impossible because I was sticky/needy/negative/miserable.

Could it happen? Opinions?

submitted by /u/penne_al_sugo
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Let's say there was no chemistry from your side between you and a best friend that was in love for you, and you decided to separate your paths permanently to stop suffering. A decade later, you meet again this person, that you knew very very well years ago. Is it possible you feel any chemistry? Sparks? Or once you know that person and it "failed", it means it's doomed forever and rest in peace?

I [F32] am going to meet again an old best friend [M27] who rejected me romantically 7 years ago because there was no romance from his side, I moved on and had my life, other partners, a job etc. We're again in contact online from some days, he is pretty much interested in my life, asks things etc, and we're going to meet to update each other, "just because". Might he feel something for me now, after all this time? We both changed...
I'd be unprepared for a plot twist like that, I mean I genuinely don't feel anything anymore for him, I've just memories of our special and close friendship, I remember everything of his life until that point and he remembers mine etc. But I mean I moved on. I'm kind of scared it might happen something from his side, although back in the time it was literally impossible because I was sticky/needy/negative/miserable.

Could it happen? Opinions?

submitted by /u/penne_al_sugo
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Shy guy (24) would like some advice on asking out/approaching a cute coworker (23). Please help. https://www.freeladylove.com/shy-guy-24-would-like-some-advice-on-asking-out-approaching-a-cute-coworker-23-please-help/ Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:16:11 +0000 https://www.freeladylove.com/?guid=233f70b5a15b0fc7caa45af73b36ba49

Hello, I'm a 24 year old shy guy I haven't really asked too many girls out before but I think this girl at my work is very pretty and I'd love to ask her out. I've never really talked to her but I'd like to I just don't know how to approach her. One of the problems that I'm having is she's not really on the same shift as me as she works Saturday-Monday 6am to 6pm and I work Saturday-Monday 6pm to 6am. The only times we see each other is when one of us is leaving after a long physical 12 hour shift. Now what I'd like some advice on how I should approach her. Or Should I just ask her out right away or slowly kinda build up small talk then ask her out? Please help.

submitted by /u/bizarrebrewski
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Hello, I'm a 24 year old shy guy I haven't really asked too many girls out before but I think this girl at my work is very pretty and I'd love to ask her out. I've never really talked to her but I'd like to I just don't know how to approach her. One of the problems that I'm having is she's not really on the same shift as me as she works Saturday-Monday 6am to 6pm and I work Saturday-Monday 6pm to 6am. The only times we see each other is when one of us is leaving after a long physical 12 hour shift. Now what I'd like some advice on how I should approach her. Or Should I just ask her out right away or slowly kinda build up small talk then ask her out? Please help.

submitted by /u/bizarrebrewski
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We’re (M33 & F29) Both Sarcastic and Have a Dark Sense of Humor https://www.freeladylove.com/were-m33-f29-both-sarcastic-and-have-a-dark-sense-of-humor/ Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:09:43 +0000 https://www.freeladylove.com/?guid=a118f7fabb38d4b31efcc06565199824

I was just curious to see if anyone else who has a sarcastic, dry/dark sense of humor has also found a partner to share your sense of humor with?

My girlfriend and I have only been dating for a short time. But, I have never been with a woman who has such a similar sense of humor before. It is honestly quite amazing! We make each other laugh all the time. I just wanted to share how freeing it is to be able to be 100% the real me and not only does she get it, she fires right back!

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Love hurts… especially when you love the person so much but they just leave https://www.freeladylove.com/love-hurts-especially-when-you-love-the-person-so-much-but-they-just-leave/ Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:06:18 +0000 https://www.freeladylove.com/?guid=556394d206175e9b71815620770eb675

I woke up this morning hopped in the shower and when I got out she was gone.... I tried to call her and text her but no response, I give up honestly on everything love, life, and everything else. I wish I could just have luck once in my life with love.... I’m already drunk and don’t know what to do? What would you do if you were in my shoes ?

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Why are there so many gorgeous women settling for dead end relationships? https://www.freeladylove.com/why-are-there-so-many-gorgeous-women-settling-for-dead-end-relationships/ Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:04:04 +0000 https://datingcoach.me.uk/?p=3904 How to Breakup with Someone the Right Way https://www.freeladylove.com/how-to-breakup-with-someone-the-right-way/ Fri, 28 Feb 2020 17:00:34 +0000 https://www.emlovz.com/?p=232252 Breaking up is a luxury of modern dating. Before the advent of agriculture, for thousands of years, humans lived in small nomadic egalitarian cliques that most likely have few if any monogamous relationships. The attempt to form a monogamous relationship might have been seen as selfish and could have even resulted in being excommunicated from […]

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Breaking up is a luxury of modern dating.

Before the advent of agriculture, for thousands of years, humans lived in small nomadic egalitarian cliques that most likely have few if any monogamous relationships. The attempt to form a monogamous relationship might have been seen as selfish and could have even resulted in being excommunicated from the group.

While early civilizations accepted monogamy -at least in name- young children, in particular young girls, were married off young. Roman society, for example, didn’t allow young singles to date around, bouncing from one partner to the next until they found their perfect match. In all likelihood, their parents chose who they would marry based not on mutual attraction but on wealth and status.

This trend didn’t change all that much until about the 1960s. Before then, both men and women still tended to marry young, often marrying someone who went to their church, attended their middle school, or lived on their street. You’d typically date one or two people before bending the knee and pledging the rest of your life to your high school sweetheart. If the marriage didn’t work out, tough luck. Not until the 1960s could Americans file “no-fault” divorces which would allow either party to terminate the relationship despite not having done anything illegal.

Pretty much until the 1960s, most people went from birth to their deathbed only having dated/married one person.

This whole concept of ending a relationship is still fairly new to humans. We don’t have social skills relevant to terminating a relationship that we’ve fine-tuned with the help of evolution. How to break up with someone is a relatively new practice that we’re still figuring out.

In this article, we’ll walk you through the best ways to break up with your partner depending on the stage of the relationship.

Why Are You Lacking In Break-Up Skills?

You decided to click on this article because you need help. But why is that so? Let’s dig into that for a second.

Do you struggle with conflict? How do you react when dealing with a conflict between yourself and co-workers or with friends?

Chances are, your inability to handle awkward social situations is rooted in your upbringing.

Those with avoidant attachment styles lived through childhoods where they couldn’t rely on their caretakers for a steady stream of affection. Affection in these formative years was erratic and as such impacts how these children deal with intimate relationships as adults.

As an adult with an avoidant attachment style you break off relationships before they get too serious and try to avoid any and all awkward social situations. If this sounds like you, understand why you behave the way you do and then work to rewire how you operate.

If you have this attachment style, you may not even truly desire to stop seeing the woman you’re dating. Before making any rash decisions, ask yourself if a breakup is really what you want.

How To Break Up With Someone at Different Relationship Stages

When You’ve Only Dated This Person Once or Twice

Not every woman you split an ice cream with needs to be rejected IRL. That’d be like if you walked around a food court and notified everyone with food on their mouth that “you have a little something there.” Umm, thank you, I guess.

Ya see, ghosting isn’t inherently evil. Imagine the antithesis of ghosting for a moment. It’d look something like writing out a list of grievances you have with the woman you went on one date with and listing them off one by one while sipping a latte at a crowded cafe. One of these is clearly better than the other.

Look, fading into the abyss is generally a perfectly acceptable way to tacitly notify a woman you dated once or twice that you don’t care to perpetuate the courtship. She doesn’t want to hear that you chose not to continue seeing her because you can’t stand her Jersey housewife accent or because she smelled musty. In this case, it’s better to not hurt her feelings and simply fade out.

However, a verbal confirmation that you no longer wish to see her might be necessary depending on how much time you’ve invested into the relationship. If you two were texting before the first date for weeks upon weeks basically becoming pen pals and built up a strong rapport, an explanation might be justified should things not work out. This is why I advise not investing too heavily before a first date.

When You Dated For A Month

So you guys went on a few dates, ate some quality Indian food, and even went to a Giants game before the nascent flame fizzled out. That’s fine, it happens. So how do you tell her? Well, that all depends.

Not every one-month relationship is the same.

Did you already meet her friends and swap your biggest darkest secrets? Have you two opened up to each other and made plans for your future? If you answered yes to any of the aforementioned questions, then a phone call explaining your stance is necessary. During the call, don’t offer specifics unless she asks or unless she’s done something hurtful to you that you think she deserves to be called out on.

On the flip side, if you two saw each other just a handful of times, never kissed, had sex, or built anything more substantial than a superficial connection, then an explicit breakup chat might not be warranted.

Whatever the case may be, if she picks up the phone and asks why you’ve been distant, tell her the truth. Even if the truth might hurt her more than letting things fade to black, she’s asking for your honesty. It’s not your job to decide for her which way to end the relationship is best.

How To Breakup With Someone You’ve Slept With

Literally having another person inside of you is just about as vulnerable as a woman can get.

You two have seen each other naked, engaged in pillow talk, and have opened yourselves up in a way that you have with few others. Unless you’re 100% she just wanted some casual sex, you need to inform her that you’re ending the relationship.

A notarized letter or maudlin poem recapping the great times you had together isn’t necessary. Don’t email or text her either.

Text her asking if she has a moment to talk on the phone -ambushing someone with a breakup phone call while they’re in public can also be a dick move. Call her when you’re sure she’s at home or in private. Tactfully explain that you think it’s best if you two part ways. Calling offers her a communication channel that she can use to ask questions and receive in-depth closure.

If she asks to see you in person, indulge her. Go to a park or public place. Don’t agree to dinner or coffee in a cafe. Make sure you’re able to leave the location quickly should things get rowdy.

Use “I” Rather Than “You” Statements

When it comes to breakups, don’t do as Simon says, rather do as science says.

“I” rather than “you” statements have a way of lessening the blow. They don’t sting as much because they appear to place the blame on the speaker rather than the listener.

“I’m just not feeling the chemistry” sounds a lot better than, “you’re not my type.” My statement places the blame on the person doing the breaking up and the other on the person whose heart has been broken into innumerable pieces.

Let’s try another.

Which sounds better? “I’m getting more of a friend vibe and I want to be open and honest with you,” or “You’re more of a friend than a lover.”

You might even say something like “I just don’t think I’m ready to date right now,” or “I am realizing that I need to just focus on myself right now.” Only say this if it’s true however. If your real intention is to hop right back on Bumble and go on more dates, don’t say something that contradicts that. It’s okay to be honest, in fact, it’s noble and she’ll respect you more because of it. You don’t have to offer her any feedback about why she’s not a fit for you unless she requests it.

Use A Compliment Sandwich

Everyone’s more receptive to a negative review when it’s wrapped up in compliments.

Example:

Compliment 1: I have really have enjoyed getting to know you, I feel like I’ve learned so much just from the conversations we’ve had and they’ve meant so much to me.

Hard news: That said, I have to be honest, I’m just not feeling a strong level of chemistry and it kills me to say this because I don’t want you to think that you don’t matter to me.

Compliment 2: You made me feel excited about dating and it was so fun to learn about your background and interests but for now, I think I’d rather be friends if that’s ok.

When you do this with love, it can actually be a super healing experience for the receiver, who maybe has never experienced a loving rejection. Consider the recipient’s feelings. Remember it’s them that’ll fall harder than you will. Put in the extra effort to comfort them. If you truly care about them this should be a rather easy ask.

How To Break Up With Someone You’ve Been Dating For Several Months

It’s in this context that ghosting is deplorable.

After dating for several months the only respectable and healthy way to end the relationship is in person. A litany of texts, a 10-minute voicemail, and emotive letters all fall short of what must be done. An in-person conversation is the only breakup method that’s acceptable.

Before asking her to sit down and chat, write a letter. Strike pen to paper and scribble away. Read the letter out loud and refine it. The point isn’t to send her the letter (although perhaps that’s an option in addition to speaking with her) but to practice refine your breakup speech. You hopefully don’t want to hurt the person you just gave months of your life to. Practice what you’ll say during the breakup before it happens. Refine your thoughts to ascertain you don’t say anything stupid or something you don’t mean.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. She’s doesn’t deserve a bs excuse for a breakup. Confusion will only cause her harm.

Create an outline based on your final draft and use that to navigate an in-person conversation. I like to have these hard conversations outside (if it’s not cold) in neutral territory. The last thing you want is for her to get upset and feel awkward because one person has ownership over the other’s territory.

How To Breakup With Someone You’ve Been Dating For Years

It’s human nature to do everything in our power to avoid losing an investment -human or otherwise.

We hold on to our investments until we know we a certainty that they’ll fail. When it comes to a woman you’ve been dating for years, this can be a double-edged sword.

On the one hand, your desire to keep the relationship alive will motivate to change what’s not working in the relationship. If you’re unhappy or unfulfilled, you’ll talk it out, make concessions, and try to fix things. Vulnerable conversations will be had and tears shed. But this doesn’t mean that a fix will ever come.

Be able to identify when it just won’t work out. Don’t drag your feet along for years as you allow yourself to be stuck in a relationship that isn’t working.

When you’re ready to end the relationship seek the help of individual counselors, coaches, or even couples counselors to ensure that you navigate the conversation in a loving, respectful, and honest way.

Don’t just spring it on your partner that you’re unhappy. They should be given several opportunities to listen, absorb, and co-create a plan of action to produce positive change before throwing in the towel. Consider if the tables were turned. How would you want to receive that information?

How To Breakup With Someone You’re Married To

Divorce is an endeavor best not carried out alone.

It’s expected that you and your wife have been trying to make things work for some time now. Despite your best efforts, the situation can’t be ameliorated.

Before having the conversation that brings the relationship to a close, consult with a friend, coach, or marriage counselor. Learn what steps need to be taken to carry out a calm and lucid conversation. I’d advise seeking the help of a professional mediator once the time comes.

A counselor can serve as an outside observer and mediator to help both parties see each side of the argument. Spending time individually in counseling to get clear on why you’re looking to end your marriage, and working through ways of introducing the topic honestly, lovingly, and without resentment, can be a game-changer.

There’s rarely an easy way to end a relationship.

Discussing your options and mapping out a plan of action can help make the process easier. Should you need this assistance from a coach, book a new client 1-on-1 Skype session with me today. Together we’ll figure out if your relationship is worth ending, how to do it, and how to restart your dating life once you’re ready.

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