Every time I talk to a woman, I find myself always subconsciously talking about the future – including future dates and life plans. As such, emotionally I come across as very passionate and I open up very easily about my own life, finding myself overcommitting (not exclusively, but emotionally) to people I talk to early on, even if I haven’t met them in real life yet. I just tend to form strong bonds quickly if I like someone.

A girl I recently have been talking to says that she feels uncomfortable giving me the same amount of commitment as I have given her. She says I move too fast and need to slow down first and that she wants to become friends first. The problem is I don’t know how to slow down. I am emotionally intense and have an anxious attachment type so I am by default this way and can’t for the life of me slow down because not only do I know how to, I’m afraid when I do a girl will disappear and lose interest in me. After this conversation we had four days ago, she has been ignoring me since, despite talking every day for the past two months, so I’m giving her some space. But what am I meant to do to avoid this happening again?

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TLDR: I get over-invested way too easily and early and end up hurting myself because I am anxious and too intense in my personality, how can I alleviate this?