Is being in person stronger than E-dating? How important is sexual appeal during dating, especially when e-dating and social distancing?
So I'm 19M. Just started dating last December. The past 3 "relationships" I've had (including people I've E-dated) have ended because of sexual interest, distance, or both.
The first time was a guy. He was 24, but alot of fun, practically a big kid, and really active. That was during winter break. Then college started back up, and we were 300 miles apart. He was a "bottom" and I guess I was too, but more just somebody that enjoys sexual stuff whatever it may be. I find it to be more of an adventure, but I guess some people arent as keen on trying new things or already know what they like. I was relatively fit, mostly lower body because I was a runner. He asked me "do you think you could try topping?" So I tried, but i didnt enjoy it because then i feel like I'm using him for my pleasure (even though now I realize that he probably liked it). But then we separated because of distance and he said that I "wasnt enough of a top, not muscular".
The next time was a girl (20F) up at college. We hangout a couple of times, slept over. She was depressed that her past 5 relationships ended with nudes over snapchat, and asked what was wrong with her. I was always there for her in person when she was having a break down. Within the first week I was with her she asked me to finger her. Again, never had sex before, so I had no idea what she liked. So I asked her, you know, "like this? Hows this feel?" And she would say "good" or "more over there". Then quarantine made us leave college and go back to our parents' places. We're 30 miles from eachother. One day I went to take her scooter riding at a lake (tempe town lake) as a fun little "date" idea…. later during social distancing she kept reaching out to me about how she couldnt stand not seeing me in person (physically) because her parents wouldnt let anybody over (social distancing). So I reassured her, suggested we do video dates. I even offered her a prom dance by video. When presented with the idea of a video date she responded "what's the point?". I said "so we can talk and see eachother instead of texting"…. weeks pass and she becomes less interested in me, to the point that she finds some other dude on tinder. I asked "WHY?" not understanding my lack of appeal to her. She says "you're just not sexually attractive, youre not confident, you always ask if you're doing it the right way, youre not experienced enough". She also said my voice isnt as low as any dude shes been with, where I "sound gay". Now she doesnt talk to me.
The third time was a girl (19F) over snapchat, she was in Arizona (my home) and then flew to Washington (her home). We had been talking and I was interested in her, but I didnt really know what to expect from E-Dating or what to do. Today I found out that she met some dude at work and he seems to be a really nice guy. I'm glad she found someone that makes her happy.
Maybe I'm just not physical enough, or the people I've met are far more into physical things than I am, where it's a need for them in a relationship.
I guess I'm trying to ask, what's your opinion? What percentage of dating do you put towards sexuality and being physical? What about E-Dating? Are "talking dirty" and video nudes really that important with E-dating?
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