Sigh honestly I think being in quarantine is just driving me a little crazy. Boredom with all these random thoughts running through my head.
Some background on myself: 23 years old female, East Asian, I’ve heard that I’m pretty attractive, have a good pedigree and a well-paying corporate job out of school. Colleagues and friends usually tell me I am very personable, easy going, and good at holding conversations.
I feel like everything in my life is going well – I have a group of great friends, I live in a nice condo in a great city with my best friend, supportive family, etc…except for the fact that I am unable to find someone to be in a long term relationship with.
I’ve been on around 20-25 dates within the span of less in a year and honestly it’s just been so disappointing. I feel like I’m at the age where all my friends and acquaintances have found a significant other, and I always try to brush it off as “oh it’s cause my standards are too high, I wasn’t interested, blah blah”, when in reality, maybe I’m just not good enough. Out of the 20 dates, 50% of the guys either texted me after the date but didn’t ask me out again, or just never bothered texting at all.
I think my triggering point is recently I went on 3 dates with this guy, and afterwards he just sorta phased out talking to me and I don’t think there will be even a 4th date. I just don’t understand why. And it’s driving me crazy. Im not even upset about the guy really, just the fact that I’m being ghosted again makes me so afraid to go on dates again because it just seems like an indicator telling me I’m not good enough. And it really hurts my self esteem.
I guess a dealbreaker might be that I’m not willing to do one night stands or whatever. I’ve always been a little insecure about sleeping with people I don’t fully trust or have a committed relationship with – I imagine it will hurt even more if I do put out and they ghost me afterwards or something doesn’t work out. Maybe it’s just part of the Asian culture I was raised in.
At this point I just feel like giving up. I have been consistently on 4 different dating apps and going on at least 1 date a week, but there’s just no fruition. And there’s not one day I wake up not thinking or worrying about this. Is it just luck? Is it karma? Am I just meant to be single forever?
Have anyone else ever been on a huge handful of dates and actually tried really hard at finding a relationship but just had no luck? How’s your situation now?
submitted by /u/springstar97
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