21F…I have a weird relationship with dating. Please offer any support you might have!

Hi all. A little bit about me: I’m 21 F and straight, and have never been in a relationship. The only time I have kissed a guy has been in a play. I have had one or two guys want to date me in the past, but i was not attracted to them in that way.

I want, like most people, to meet someone genuine and fun and kind and to fall in love and experience both romantic and physical love, sometimes I feel that I am the only girl of my age not actively going out and seeking sex (there’s nothing wrong with that if you do that!!) or using dating apps.

I don’t like dating apps because I find them to be really inroganic and forced and weird. I really just wish and hope I will meet someone naturally. I am a pre-teacher and I go to college without a lot of dudes; and I am very involved on campus.

I have a massive fear that I’m going to be totally rejected if/when a guy that I “like back” wants to date me when I tell him I literally have NO sexual or romantic experience at my age. I think in some ways that keeps me from exploring my intimate side.

I just feel that I’m at my wit’s end. I mean, I’m fairly happy, and I feel that I’m at a decent place in being single. But part of me feels that if I don’t go out and meet someone soon, then it will just become later and later until I meet someone and then they will really be sketched out by me, being in my late 20s or something and never having actually kissed or dated someone.

in short: I want to date someone, but I don’t want apps, I want something more organic, but I also feel that I’m too old and people will get freaked out. And I don’t want to just throw myself in relationship for the sake of being in one. I want aomething to happen naturally, but society is telling me that the longer I wait the “weirder” I become.

I guess what I’m looking for is…does anyone have a similar experience? How do I find balance between making myself open/available while also trusting that something will happen organically? I know everyone’s life timing is different, but I hate feeling different because of this.

Thanks for listening. Be kind please!