Long term lurker, now I need some advice. Today I just turned 23 and I’m worried. Some background first, I graduated High School in 2016 and didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my life. By the time of my senior year in High School I have never been on a date or actually hung out with a girl. I was bullied in High School, but I did stand up for myself when it got to bad. I did start a fight in 10th grade (which I don’t suggest, but the normal reporting it wasn’t working) and when fellow football players bullied me I always made sure to line up against them in practice and kick their freaking ass to ensure they wouldn’t get playing time or at least felt it physically. But I’m getting off topic. Back to my senior year, I started working at a popular fast food chain in Wisconsin. This is where I met the first girl I ever went on a date with. We started talking and eventually talking became flirting. We went on a date and we planned that she come to a few football games. Well, after a few weeks of talking she decided to end it and saying she was going back to her ex boyfriend. Well, two years later I found out she was gay and that was to cover it up which is totally fine. After that I meet another girl at work, we start getting to know each other. I believe there was flirting and she did have a habit of “accidental touching” on my arm and my upper body kind of thing. I never grew a pair to ask her out. She eventually starts dating another man and never becomes available again in my time of knowing her. Finally near the end of the school year and employment I meet another girl. Now she is nice and talkative, but I found her incompatible with me. Just nothing clicked on my end. She rallies part of the restaurant into pressuring me into dating her. So I do and it went fine, but no click. She invites me back the next day and does it in front of everybody so what I am going to say in her house. I tell her in her room which know I’m retrospectively I think she was trying to seduce me because she was pretty open about talking about those kind of activities. I tell her I don’t think we should date kind of thing and I leave.
After High School I go to a technical college satellite campus and there was like 5 women in total there in the 2 years I was there. So school was not going work out and my new job there was only one opportunity, but she was a minor and shared vastly different scientific and religious beliefs then I did. Had a Tinder date once, but I felt like there was nothing there. I did join Amway because I didn’t know what it was and I was lonely. I met a woman there and we clicked like I have never done before. I was gravely disappointed to find out she was married, but later to find out she was very unhappy in it and she confused she wanted me. She was married at 15 and I don’t think she had much say in getting married. Her parents were fresh of the boat from Thailand I believe. After that yeah I did ask some girls out and one asked me out, but she was a minor so I stayed away from that. Now, I’m at University joined a club to meet people and I’m taking on a STEM major so there are hardly any women in my class. I lived in the dorms and met a few women that I practiced making cold contacts with some actual early success, but when studies started to pick up it took way more time. I didn’t sleep with any of them, but I did eat meals with them and talked to them. But at the same time I had to argue with my roommate because I thought it was inappropriate to have loud “relations” with me in the room. Finally, this year I live in a house with roommates and I don’t have any problems like that with them, but as my workload picked up I didn’t meet as many women. I asked multiple I did know on dates, but all three canceled on me later via text.
The reason why I’m turning to Reddit is because I have some FOMO right now. I never had the experimenting phase as many do in their teens and now many people I know have had gf/bfs for multiple years and even having babies. I spent all night without sleep because I worried I’ll be alone like this forever. My sister told me women don’t date men like you because your not a giant douche yet and your first girlfriend will probably have a kid. I told her I didn’t want to date a single mom and that was a big fight as she was once one. I’m seeing a therapist now and in the past on and off. My mom told me to lower my standards and I don’t know to what. I didn’t get my first kiss until I was 22 and I did have sex until I was 22 as well. That was once with a Tinder date. Things just didn’t work out. I know this post is long and is missing info so I’m happy to answer questions. This was a bit more emotional for me at the time of writing and sorry for the poor grammar. This is me typing this on my phone.
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