4 months of dating – slow, non-exclusive, but leading to something serious? 25M, 26F

Hi everyone,

I (26F) met this guy (25M) at a NYE's party and we hit it off really well on our first date two weeks later. Both parties agree it was the best date either one of us have had. Since then, we have been seeing each other and going on bonafide dates with him sleeping over almost every weekend.

The thing is, both of us have baggage and need to work on ourselves. I recently ended a 6 year relationship last May and he ended a 1 year this last September. Both of us did not expect much to come from this first date since we were both in our single and mingle phase, but sparks flew. I told him that as far as timing goes, it's probably not ideal, but you can't help it when you meet someone special. We agreed to take things slow and be non-exclusive, as he feels that jumping into it is basically just the same as being bf/gf, but he said it was definitely leading to something serious.. it just needed time to get there.

Even though we're not exclusive, he and I have not been seeing anyone else. That said, it has been four months now and I feel like I should have more of an indication of where he is emotionally. I know he really *really* likes me, as he's said it before. I told him that I was emotionally invested in him so partaking in the non-exclusivity part of it is hard for me, so it will most likely never happen on my end (aka me sleeping with someone else/dating someone else) He said he felt the same way.

I am definitely falling for him. We plan a lot of things together, like trips post-quarantine (EDM festivals, visiting his family's lakehouse, weekend trips) and we do a lot of things together daily (online video games with him and his friends, following a workout routine together, cooking) so while the non-exclusive but serious part weirds me out a little, I am patient and told him to be ready on his own terms. We aren't in a rush and I like the direction it's heading towards.

BUT after reading some posts on Reddit, I am a little nervous/afraid that I am being TOO patient. Most people have said by the 3-4 month mark, you should know if it's going to go anywhere. I feel that it is, but I want to know where he is on his end too, like if he's falling for me the same way I am for him. How do I approach that convo?