Short backstory. Knew this girl since highschool. Both were in a relationship at the time so we were just friends. Within our first like 2yrs of college we became close, our relationships ended. Hung out a lot during the summers. I started to like her but wasnt sure if she felt the same. At the time we were both going to school in different states, and her parents had just moved states, so we barely got to see each other during the years. Because of this, even though I thought there were signs that she did like me, I never tried to pursue anything. Our situations were so different that I didnt see it working out regardless if we felt the same way and I didnt want to ruin our friendship. During this, we kind of naturally grew apart and didnt talk for like 2 years.
Fast forward to a few months ago, and we randomly got back in touch and started texting almost every day for a few weeks even facetimed a few times and it felt like we picked up where we left off years ago, nothing was awkward, everything felt natural. Some of those feelings I had back then started to creep back up and I actually decided to just call her and tell her that, just to get it off my chest, no expectations, so I could know how to continue to approach the situation. Her response was that at one point she said she felt the same and had thoughts about it, but that because our lives were in such different places she never tried taking it anywhere. She went on a rant about how she feels when she is around me and how our connection is special and she didnt want to risk losing that and that she is glad I told her etc… so basically made it seem like she just wanted to be friends even though she didnt necessarily say that, that is how I took it. I was honestly cool with that and expected it especially considering the fact that I told her I liked her like 2 years after not talking to each other haha so I didnt expect for her to feel the same
After this happened I actually think we started talking even more, and about a week ago she actually came down to visit some family, and I ended up hanging out with her both days she was here. First day we drove a few hours away and spent the day hiking and going to get food. The next day we took her dog to a park and walked around, got ice cream and sat in her car until like 1 a.m just talking. They basically felt like dates, definitely not how a normal hangout would go down if I was with other girl friends that I have, and honestly thats how it always felt every time we would hang out even back when we were in college, like there was something more. Once I got back home after saying our goodbyes she texted me saying that she already missed me and we basically just said how we hate that we live so far from each other blah blah blah.
Now im stuck in a situation where I like her again, and im not sure how she feels, but part of me feels like she does like me. Like I see little signs that you always see people telling you to look out for to see if they like you. For example, both the days we hung out, I was flirty with her and I would even get "touchy" and she never stopped me or backed away when I would get real close to her. She would just embrace me doing that and then even do it back at times. She has never told me "you are such a great friend" , "im lucky to have a friend like you" or any of of those friend lines that you always see when girls friendzone guys. When she tells her family she is with me its never a "oh im going out with my friend" she always just refers to me by my name to them (this one might be iffy bc they already know me). When we were hiking she asked me about this girl that I had been talking to a few years back and when I told her it didnt work out she just left it at that. There was no like "Oh im sorry youl find someone else" and she never tries to imply that I should look for a girl. She has never talked to me about guys she likes or anything with past relationships. If a guy is ever included in a story she tells she always refers to them as friends or the most she has done is tell me a story about how she had to deny some guy that hit on her, almost like to see my reaction I feel like. We always hang out one on one, its never a group thing. Basically most of the signs that people say show you are in the friendzone dont apply to me and theres a lot of signs that I feel like shows she might be interested in more. But then again I realize that I could just be me missing the sings that show she isnt interested as more than friends because in my mind thats not what I want.
Now my question is, how do I go about this. I wish i made a move before she left back home because I feel like in the moment she was showing sings that she would be fine if I had gone in for a kiss, but its too late for that. So should I just talk to her and be completely honest. Tell her that I went into this with the intentions of a friendship but after seeing her for those two days that I felt like there was something more there and see if she feels the same way or not? Or do I try to wait it out until I can see her in person again and maybe have that talk with her then or just try to make a move and that way I can find out in person whether or not she wants something more? (not sure when the next time i would see her, could be months) Any advice is appreciated
submitted by /u/LazyPerception1
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