Just came here to vent about modern dating. I'm a pretty long-time (70?+ first dates) dating app user, who just had it broken off with a girl I liked after 4 dates. Main reason cited is inability to try "long distance". I'm about to move for a new job (medical residency, so demanding hours on top of everything else), which would make the distance between us about 1-1.5 hours. She gave me the courtesy of explaining that she prefers a relationship with someone in the same city, where she could meet up with them after dinner on a whim and basically "hang out whenever" (which im not sure is really a thing at our age in our late 20s, especially when she's seeking someone with a successful career). Said she has been in similar distance relationships before and it was too much effort to plan when to meet. After saying I would be more than willing to put in the effort of driving to her when feasible to see if it could potentially work, she essentially said she wouldn't be willing to do the same because the planning would be overwhelming.
I'm not gonna say those aren't valid reasons or whatever, because people should seek what they desire. I'm just so tired of seemingly nobody willing to put in any effort towards dating and i'm so tired of dating in an environment where everyone is seeking this perfect situation/person. And i'm tired of feeling like i will never fit in anyone's "perfect" situation. I think i'm built differently than a lot of modern daters; I see it as pretty binary. I don't like a ton of the girls I go out with, but when i decide I do, i'm usually not wrong about my feelings. And I think as a pretty average looking/charisma/personality male, when I find a relatively rare connection, I do whatever I can to try to let it flourish. But when it's with an attractive/charismatic female, the options seem endless. They can literally swipe and match with 10 of me in 30 minutes and we both know it.
The app dating culture has destroyed my desire for romance because I am literally always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And i understand people have success with it and the problem may very well lie with me, i'm just tired of it all. I don't know how many times I can keep doing it over and over and over.
submitted by /u/Timthrowit0418
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