Always ask a ghoster if (s)he’s ghosting you

Nobody's a fan of ghosters, but hear me out.

Being ghosted obviously sucks, and the majority opinion online is that if you're not getting a reply, you should keep your chin up and move on.

My take, however, is that before you cut contact, ask the person if (s)he's ghosting you. Don't make it a Hail Mary, but drop a text like, "Hey, haven't heard from you in a while. Can I take it as you're no longer interested in getting to know each other? If so, that's alright, and all the best!"

My rationale is that sometimes ghosters aren't ghosting on purpose. They are simply not in the right headspace to get to know someone. It's not you, it's them – family, work, medical etc. Ghosting is unfortunately the easiest thing to do when it comes to getting a little more clarity for themselves. It's selfish, but hey, everyone's a little selfish sometimes. Dropping them a quick text is a slight push for an answer to the silence.

Another possibility is that they're not interested but lack the courage to say so. So much is transient in today's dating climate, and remaining quiet and hoping things naturally die off is the new norm. Hence it does take quite a bit of courage to put one's discomfort aside and end a non-relationship properly. When faced with a ghoster, be the bigger person and give them an out.

In these two scenarios, if there's a reply, great! You now know for sure if you're being ghosted or not. Either the conversation resumes (if there's a satisfactory answer to the silence), or you can end things on a good note, wishing each other the best. If there's no reply, you can move on knowing you gave it your best shot. One unreplied text can be a mistake, two is an answer. It's better than wondering what's up with the person. But NEVER triple-text.

Of course some ghosters are just plain assholes. This advice is not applicable to them!

submitted by /u/foggyfloor
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