Hello! I (29,F) am currently reading a book about attachment… and it is totally throwing my previous identity as a simple classic case of anxious attachment out the window.
It remarks on distancing behaviours and attitudes often present in avoidant types, and I exhibited these in my recent relationship with a secure attacher (whom I ended the relationship with).
However I score super high on all the anxious behaviours as evidenced across my whole relationship and dating history.
I am wondering now if I am the dreaded ‘fearful-avoidant’ often described as the most difficult attachment style to have…
But a part of me is wondering if the lines are a bit blurred, and someone exhibiting avoidant traits may just be in an unhappy relationship but their classic avoidant tendancies mean they struggle to act upon this for fear of being alone so they then display distancing as a means to exit.
Ahh, its complex…any thoughts from people who know a bit about this?
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