Hello reddit! I am potentially opening myself up for ridicule, but I am super lost and could really use some honest advice from people more experienced.
8 months ago I started dating for the first time to find a serious relationship. Since then I've been on a whole lot of first and second dates with nothing panning out. In the beginning I was admittedly desperate for my first relationship and I wasn't taking compatability too much in to consideration so I was the one being rejected mostly rather than doing the rejecting. After a while I started to get jaded about things so I began to learn and get realistic about what I'm truly into and not into for a partner. And I'm scared that its a lot. Like I said I've never had a relationship before and I really don't want to go into one now unless I'm super into the person. Lately I've been talking with and going on dates with guys who are intrested in me but I just don't feel excited about cause they don't have a majority of what I'm looking for in a partner. Usually if I'm on a first date I don't feel a spark then I don't keep talking with them. I'm starting to wonder if I'm being naive and not giving things enough time. I know things aren't like the movies, but I hear people talk about how excited they were about their current SO after their first date, is that the norm? Should I be shooting for only that?
I also wanted to ask you guys if I'm being unrealistic about what I'm looking for in a guy. Please be honest and if I am advice on thow to be more realistic would be so helpful!! Here are the qualities I'm primarily looking for in a boyfriend:
- Ambitious career wise (either is in college or looking for/has a "big boy" job)
- Can have in-depth, smart conversations
- Likes to go out and be at home sometimes. Basically not a homebody.
- Emphasizes establishing a romantic connection before a sexual one
- Sexual chemistry
- Taller than me (I'm 5'4)
- Has a healthy weight or is close to it
- Good hygiene
- Is masculine/dominate
- Confident
- Experienced with relationships
- Romantic/gentleman
- Shares some of my interests (ex. Traveling, concerts, etc.)
- Has the same political leanings as me
- More laid back, not easy to get angry/frustrated
submitted by /u/littleboxhero
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