I’ve recently (mid/end of this March) been talking to a guy I’ve known for 13 years. We used to work together and i never thought of him in a romantic way until just recently. We only worked together for about a year (2007-2008) and we both changed careers. He moved away to Alaska at that time, lived there for two years and then moved to Hawaii where he’d been living for the last decade (approx). We’re both from the Texas (D/FW area) and he just moved back here to take a job in southeast Texas. We went from only being FB friends…sporadically commenting/liking each other’s posts here and there over the years to texting/messaging every day. He went up to Missouri for training for his new job which was for a month. We hadn’t physically been in front of each other until about a week ago yesterday. We’ve been going on dates, continuing to message/text almost every day. We’re both only seeing/talking to each other and so far it’s good. The biggest issue I have with him is that he’s kind of aloof/flaky and inconsistent with communication. I get that everyone is busy and I’m not expecting anyone to “check in” with me every hour of the day. But there have been times like today where I won’t hear from him for going on 12-24 hours. Maybe that doesn’t sound like a lot of time for some people and maybe I’ve gotten spoiled by past relationships where I’ve dated guys who are VERY affectionate emotionally and how they communicate with me. Guys that couldn’t wait to talk to me when they woke up and love to hear how my day went before they went to bed. And maybe some “Hey beautiful, I was just thinking about you and I hope you’re having a great day!” mixed in the middle. I’m a firm believer in consistent, open, honest, communication on any level of a relationship. Especially when things are new. Also, if I decide to keep dating him, this will be a long distance relationship in about 4-6 mos when he officially moves to Beaumont and communication is even more important with a LD situation. And I speak from personal experience. He sent me a text last night that said something to the effect of “Hey I’m leaving early in the morning. Don’t miss me too much lol. We’ll keep in touch.” I sent him a reply last night right after that telling him that yes, I WILL miss him, I hope he has a safe drive, great first day, and good night, yada yada. That was around 1 am when we were texting. Haven’t heard sh** from him all day. Today isn’t technically his first day either. They want him down there to kinda get acclimated, settled in his temporary home for the week. So it’s not like he’s too busy to send a quick text and say hi. I don’t know if I’m being too rigid with ridiculous expectations or if that really is kind of strange or maybe he’s just not as experienced in dating/relationships and doesn’t know the importance of communication. We haven’t exactly had the more serious conversation either about what each other wants/needs in a partner/relationship so yeah, that obviously needs to happen. Thoughts?
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