So I’m in a weird space right now, and I’d love some feedback, especially from people who might have a similar mindset as the person I’m talking to now. Here’s some background: So about 2 months ago I (21F) met a boy (21M) through a mutual friend at my birthday party. Ever since meeting this boy, I have been so intrigued by him. It was odd timing though, we did hookup on the first day we met and It was not a great start. To make matters worse, instead of getting to know each other as friends like we both wanted to, we jumped into a relationship and dated for two months while in quarantine (still being safe of course). This made our relationship move wayyyy too quickly, so we took a step back as friends. We have been friends for about 2-3 weeks now and it has been going great! We both felt comfortable trying the talking stage again (the boy actually initiated it, and I was of course 100% on board) and I’m super excited. We spent a total of two days last week together and it was the best time ever. But he is someone that loves his time and space alone, and I’m someone that wants to be around this person all the time. I don’t think our differences should be a reason for our relationship to not work, and I definitely want to work on meeting in the middle. But recently he has come down with some serious depression, and actually hasn’t talked to me in a bit. We talked two days ago and he said that he’s just in a constant state of sadness and wants to avoid talking/being around people, but that I am not the reason for this and that he isn’t sad or upset about us. I’m trying to deal with this situation as best as I can but it’s hard because I don’t have that mindset of wanting to ever be alone or not with this person. If you are someone that deals with depressive episodes or just loves to be alone a lot, I could use insight on that point of view, and on how I should go about this, especially if we progress to getting back together officially. I would love to learn ways to talk to people with depression while respecting their space, and not be the annoying type.
TL;DR: It was nice to hear that our relationship wasn’t the cause of his sadness and that I didn’t do anything wrong, but I can’t help but feel like I did do something wrong. I know that is just me overthinking and I need to stop, but it’s hard. I also don’t know if I should text him and check up on him if he goes a week or more without talking to me? Or should I just respect his boundaries and let him come to me first even if it takes him awhile? These depressive episodes don’t happen too often with him thankfully, but I want to learn healthy ways to go about this, so that he can see that I am someone willing to learn how to deal with his mental heath and hopefully he can do the same with my anxiety.
submitted by /u/nat31000
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