Very early on in a relationship, while you’re dating find an opportunity to say no to them about something that they want to do.

Choice of restaurant? Meeting for a date? Something in bed? Any of these is good.

Then see how they react. Do they sulk? Wheedle? Attempt to emotionally blackmail you? Are they trying to control you?

If that’s what they do the first time, then that’s probably what they always do. Do you want to live with that? Make your choice before things get serious.

For people that suggest that is manipulation, I disagree. I’m not trying to control or change the other person’s behaviour, merely creating a situation for them to react as they would otherwise in. In any relationship you’ll eventually need to say no, and unfortunately how some people react can be a deal breaker, so it’s worth finding this out early in before you are too invested.

At the beginning of a relationship people are on their best behaviour, and like to say yes to everything, particularly people pleasers. This post was just a friendly piece of advice to remember to say no about something.

Nor am I suggesting that you say no to everything, or just at random.

Some folks have said you should just be open and honest instead. Unfortunately, controllers/ sulkers etc rarely ever tell you directly what they are.

There are so many posts in this sub where people discover this about their partner far down the line. Why not be conscious of it early on? It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the wonder of a new relationship. I certainly wish I’d known this sooner.