I have never had a girlfriend nor do I have many friends that are females(my female friends and I are not close at all).I’ve always been sorta shy of the other gender up until my high school senior year.I used to be very obese all through my middle and high school year. This all changed in my junior year,when I met this girl who I fell in love with.

We were both in the same class together.We sat in the same row of seats and she ended up becoming really good friends with some of my guy friends.I would sit with my friends partially to enjoy their company but mainly because she would sit them.We never talked more than a few sentences and our ‘talks’ were pretty formal(eg. She asking me for a pen/asking if I had done the homework).It was at this time that I decided that if I ever ‘wanted to get the girl’ I would have to make myself more appealing.

At the time I weighed roughly around 115 kg (253 lbs), so I decided that the first step would be to lose the weight.Little did I know that I would end up loosing close 40 kg(88 lbs) after 10 months of going to the gym everyday.Another thing I wanted to do was a before-after picture of my results.But when I was fat I didn’t like taking any pictures of me where I was alone in them. So all my old pictures have me in them with other people.

So after becoming a healthier version of myself(2.0) I decided it was time that I told her how I really feel about her. At this point of time it had been a year since we had both graduated.Even after feeling more confident physically it took me close to a year to muster up the courage to flat out ask her if she would be interested in meeting for coffee or something.I thought I will ask her out and then tell her face to face.She declined the offer saying she wasn’t interested.

After this happened, I wanted to express my emotions which had remained unsaid for so long and wanted her to know. Fast forward a couple of months and this whole Covid-19 situation arises forcing the whole country into a nationwide lock-down. I knew I wouldn’t be able to meet her.So I wrote up a few messages letting her know that I like her and sent her the dm. She left me on read and never replied. I would have appreciated it if she would have flat out said no. After this happened I sent another text and again left on read.

I don’t know what to do at this point.I have thoughts where I feel like I’m unlovable and don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be with someone. I hope I can meet someone who likes me for me.Advice would be appreciated.

It’s been a few weeks and I’m kinda over her and trying out dating apps. So far I’ve only matched with 1 person and it was my friend from high school who I’m sure did it to amuse me.We texted later and it confirmed the tone that I knew she had done it in.