So I’ve been with her for 4 years approximately.
She recently went on a semester abroad, and we had around 8 hours of jetlag.
It seemed like she was madly in love before she went away, but when she first told me she began falling out of love, I really questionned myself. She also told me that “everyone fked” at semesters abroad, and that she’s “meeting lots of new people”.
Ok cool for you I thought, at first she told me she had “less” feelings for me, and wanted to break things off. I tryed to stall and make a break, and called her a week later, when she told me she had time to think, and she didn’t love me anymore. When I asked her if we could date again when she came back, she told me she didn’t want because I was her highschool boyfriend (difficult go hear since I spent 3 years in uni with her and only 1 in highschool).

This is extremely hard to accept for me because she always was a source of happiness for me. Later I tryed to look at myself, and see what was wrong with me: with the virus, and confinement, I began sleeping late, beeing depressed/anxious, and stopped doing the activities I actually enjoyed. Mind you it was a difficult time, 2 people of my family almost died, and someone I know (not too much thankfully) died from the coronavirus. You would also have to know that I was her first experience, and she wanted to open the relation from the getgo.

Some friends tell me to move on, but it’s so hard. I tell myself I’ll find someone that truly loves me in the future, but why do I think of her every time?

I miss her so much, it’s crazy, I just want to hug her.
The most difficult part isn’t letting her go, it’s the project, and the future I wanted with her that is the hardest to give up…

Why did she go? Was the grass greener where she was ?
I know I’m still yong, but it’s difficult not knowing.

Edit: she is in a country where there was no lockdown.