If a guy always hints at taking you out on dates, doesn’t confirm a time and place within a week — he doesn’t want to. He probably just wants an opinion before he asks the girl he’s actually interested in. It’s not a matter of, “Why didn’t they just ask their friends?” It’s because you’re also someone they’re interested in, and much closer of a denominator to the person they’d rather be with. Not you. Maybe they’ll pass time and go on dates with you, but they’ll most likely find someone better soon.

Don’t waste your time on someone who’s isn’t matching the same effort as you.

There’s nothing wrong with this guy, apart from being massively clueleess. I just realised that I need to stop making excuses for his disinterest and lack of decency.

It’s not about their personality, because they’re introverted or shy, See if they’re actively involved and invested in planning the date: because they want to impress you.

Your dates should also be a hybrid of the things you both like doing.

I only made this realisation when I re-connected with a former Tinder match, and he always made the effort, even though he has a demanding Full-time job. Things never worked out between us because we wanted different things.

With Guy 1, he never made an effort to plan the first date, even after I gave him a list of places. I had to set the time and date and everything and I had to be more accommodating to his scheudle. Guy 2: Noticed that I liked tea, even though we were going to grab coffee, and pointed that out. So he insisted on grabbing bubble tea and he let me choose the place. He gave me his schedule for the week as well.

~

Karl, if you’re reading this, everybody loves you, alright. Stop being insecure. You could carry the whole team with that sense of humour and your Medium articles.