I (male, 25) started religiously going to the gym about 18 months ago. About three months in, I started seeing a personal trainer (also male, 27/28, very good with women) who I developed a very close friendship with, we hang out together outside of the gym – before social distancing – and eventually we became really good mates and we are to this day.

A girl (23-24) used to come to my gym as well as commute on the same train to and from the city a few times a week. She always used to come alone and was generally pretty reserved, did her workout, and would usually leave without really talking to too many people. She seemed like the cute, conservative type of girl.

I haven’t really spoken to her at all, however there was this one instance where I had my headphones in while walking into the gym and I didn’t know she was behind me. I got a little fright and jumped when I realised someone was behind me, and my heart skipped a best when I realised it was her. I was a little flustered and held the door for her as she giggled at my jumpiness and walked through, and I stupidly didn’t say anything after that. We’ve seen each other on the train a few times, but haven’t spoken. So she definitely has seen me before.

Eventually my close friend/personal trainer caught on to the fact that I was into this girl, and let me know he’d spoken to her a few times and told me her name.

I wish he hadn’t. The inevitable social media stalk happened, and I came across her instagram and Facebook profile.

He also mentioned that she had cancelled her gym membership and said she was going overseas, but this was just before the lockdown period where international travel was barred. I had not seen her at the gym or during my commutes since. He also fully encourages me to go talk to her if I see her again.

I’ve been in relationships before and there has been women that have obviously stolen my attention at random times, momentarily. We all have moments where we are astounded by someone we see and usually that’s the end of it.

This girl, I can’t seem to get over her. My question(s) – Her instagram is private, and I may not run into her again. Do I request to add her and message her? If she declined my request, will I have shot myself in the foot if I do run into her again? Or do I force myself to get over this and all of this is and the way I’m going about it is super weird?

Any thoughts would be appreciated. Burner account, etc etc.

TL;DR A girl at the gym, we’ve never spoken and I’m wondering if I should speak to her via instagram because I’ll probably never see her in person again.