I haven’t been in a break-up this bad in a long time. We didn’t have labels, we kept it pretty private. But we were crazy in love, or at least I thought we were. We called each other the love of each other’s lives. He called me his soulmate. We said we’ve never felt anything like the intensity of the love we felt for each other before.

Things happened. My mental health, which was already fragile to begin with, started spiraling down, and he didn’t know what to do with me at all. We haven’t talked in a few weeks due to certain circumstances. I tried to message him a week ago, no response. Had a psychotic episode last night in which I tried to commit suicide (not a rare occurence). I pleaded for him to answer me, to talk me down. He blocked me. Put me on ignore. I would then find out from social media posts that he’s back with his ex, who I’ve always felt inferior to. It was such a kick in the gut. I’ve just been sitting here, frozen, I don’t know what to do. Did he change his mind? Did he decide he just couldn’t take my issues? He’s said before that it was much easier being with her.

I actually thought he was the one I was going to settle down with. I’m crushed. I feel so empty. I miss him.