I was just rejected by a girl who I had so many similarities with that range from career goals to personality traits. I am pretty upset about this, but after looking for some advice I have heard more than once now that it’s a them thing, not a you thing. Hell, she even told me that. It is cliche, but I think it also means a bit more after some deeper thinking and it has made me feel a bit better.

I’ll use myself for an example. I’m 21, and I feel like I have become a very well-rounded person over the last few years. I have found out what I truly like, I finally found a passion for something, I know what direction I want to go in for my career, I’m good at things, and I can make people laugh and hold a conversation. I’ll stop there, you get the point that I am happy with my life and believe I am an interesting person. Now you should do the same, think of how all of these things I listed make you an interesting person too.

However, even though I believe I’m a great person, this girl did not think a relationship was worth it. That’s okay, because for whatever reason when they tell you “it’s not you, it’s me” they might be right. They may not be ready for a relationship, they may feel like things are heading in a direction that reminds them of a past bad relationship, they may not be able to truly communicate what they think is wrong, and they simply might see something in you that means you aren’t their type. That’s okay, because you aren’t their type but you’re still awesome regardless of what one person thinks. That doesn’t change any of the cool things you just listed about yourself, they just weren’t able to completely appreciate it all, but someone else will. Continue to remember you have value by being yourself.

(and if you’re left thinking you aren’t an interesting person, pick one thing, like a hobby you want to explore, or what you want to know more about (maybe a passion?), etc. and start working on that. It doesn’t have to be super challenging, start with something easier, unless you want a challenge)