Hello, I am a 24 years old male and these past 2 weeks have been wild for me. I’ve been friends with a girl (25 years old) for a 4 years and we have always had this chemistry between us, we understand each other at a very nice level, we share music, we talk about random stuff, about life, and we always make each other laugh. I always respected the boundary of friendship and so did she however, two weeks ago she invited me to a party at her house and we were drinking and she said that she would like to be intimate with me… after the party she came to my house and we had 1 more beer each and we laid down and talked about our feelings for each other, one thing lead to another and we ended up spending the night and half of the day together.

An important point here is that she is coming out of a 1-2 year relationship where , according to her, her previous partner was not ready to be fully commited and had this idea that she shoul always be happy and joyful (she is an extremely energetic person wtih a beautiful soul and a smile that can light a room).

After spending the night together she said that this was casual and that she didnt want a relationship ( Im not looking for a relationship, but this past year has been pretty hard on my life and I was not enjoying myself in any way so this interaction has given me a boost of happiness and confidence on myself) , so we decided to keep things as friends with benifits. We continued to see each other these past 2 weeks and she always compliments the way I treat her when we are intimate with each other , with respect and I am always caring for her.

We spent the night at my friend’s place after a nice day at the beach, her ex boyfriend called her at 3am and in the morning she said that ” I was fine these past two months , I was happy, I am mad now and confused, fuck this guy” and I know she wants to tell me about their relationship and that she still cares about him, but I am sure I wouldnt know how to react when this conversation comes, I am afraid that my feelings might get on the way and as a result it might interfere in their relationship (I am still unsure how things unfolded and his ex is coming to the city in a month), I would like some advice regarding this and what I can do to properly listen, be more attentive and selfless when this situation arises. Today she apologized in advance if her mood were to change this week, I told her “that’s ok, if you need to talk I am here”

As I mentioned before, I am not looking for a relationship although I like this lady very much and I think of her as a free spirit and someone who is constantly flying and that a relationship will only chain her. Thank you for your time.