Why is it that people who lament/say they want a partner get badgered with the following platitudes like:

• You have to love yourself first
• You have to be happy with yourself first.
• Work on yourself
• Or any other cliche’ piece of advice

This isn’t about I need a partner to function cause I don’t. It isn’t that I’m a miserable person. Some of us go months or years without so much as one single date! In fact that’s arguably the reason I go years between relationships. If we are supposed to vet the people we date but the actual number of dates we get is a low number to begin with then how are we ever expected to win this “game”?

The idea of dating multiple people is so unfathomable to me. When I’m having a simple conversation with a female coworker and my male coworker insists I lack confidence it’s kinda frustrating because he doesn’t walk in my shoes. He met his wife through online dating. He doesn’t understand/know women are bored to death by my messages. All the dates I’ve ever had I met in person. He knows too that you don’t shit where you eat. That Meetup is 90% of what’s left of my social circle. That I’m done with college. The odds are stacked against me for dates and I’m trying to figure how the hell to better my odds.

Unfortunately the lack of dates I fear could turn simple frustration into desperation but I do my best to be content while single. The thing is love/a family is a human desire. If I had more options would I even be pressed about dating? Nah. It’s too easy to be jaded when others make it look so easy and yet you don’t see the options.

Please someone read this and let me know. We all know not everyone has the same opportunities in dating!