It seems like a lot of the time when things don’t go well with dating and you ask others for advice or feedback they so something like “The first step is to work on improving yourself.” or something like that.

I just had another date failure. That makes 3 in a row over the last year and a half.

I meet them. We hit it off. I ask them out a couple days later or so. They never respond. 3 times now.

The other two, sure I can understand that. There wasn’t any huge connection. But this recent one, we met downtown at an arcade bar over the weekend. Both in different groups of friends. We basically were in a bubble when we started talking, everyone else just faded away like they weren’t there. Just kept talking, laughing, flirting. At closing time she goes with me back to my apartment instead of with her friends. We were up until 5 am drinking, holding hands, talking, fooling around, slept on the couch together, just having what seemed like a great time. Then I asked her out, and she never responded, when she had just told she wanted to meet up again the past 2 days..

I accept it. It sucks and kinda hurts. But anyway, on to when people say “Improve yourself.”

What the fuck am I supposed to improve? I have a nice apartment in a quiet neighborhood, I have a cool job with regular disposable income, I have a good car, I’m funny, lots of friends, currently completing a Masters for Comp Sci, reasonably attractive, good hygiene, dress well, blah blah blah. Things are pretty good I think.

(NONE of this is me trying to brag)

I’m just trying to illustrate that I literally have no fucking idea how improving on what I already have would somehow increase my chances of dating success. Where do I go from here?

Honestly, I feel like none of the shit I have matters if I’m just going be alone.

All these things about me feel 100% useless if there’s no one to share it with. Sure, I have my friends, but it’s not the same in any way. I always thought that having your own decent place, decent car, decent disposable income, and being a socially interesting person, and all that typical stuff were supposed to help increase the odds of finding someone. Apparently not, or somehow I just fucking suck.

I know people will say that I should be happy on my own. I have been for a long time, and I’m tired of it. I’m turning 30 this year, I just want to enjoy that feeling and emotion before everything starts to fade with age. I feel like I’m running out of youth and I’m kind of scared.

I’ve had plenty of girlfriends in the past, but only 2 serious relationships and in my early 20s, each a couple of years, and my life situation was nowhere near as good as it is now back then. I thought maybe it could be different now.

I can be happy and amuse myself, but many days I just feel lonely because there’s no one to share with. I’ve always felt like the only real purpose in life is romantic love? I guess you could say. Someone to be with and enjoy life with, who loves you and you love them deeply. That’s all I want. I’d give up a lot to have that. I’m just lonely..