Hey guys,

F [26] here.

I have a huge commitment issue and I feel completely helpless about this. Maybe some of you will know what I’m talking about.So, it goes like this: I meet a guy, I find him cute, I start noticing all the positive things about him; he’s smart, kind, loyal, funny, handsome, etc. We start dating and I start to feel we have a special connection. Thinking of him gives me thrills, my belly is full of butterflies. I feel like I am in love and this must be THE ONE. So, I tell all my close people about how perfect he is, how this has to be IT, and convince them that this time is totally different (yea, right). Two to three weeks later it’s gone. Worse, I start to devaluate him. All of a sudden he is irritating, boring, too intense, when he’s around I feel like I’m suffocating and I need space. And the sex that was so amazing before, starts to feel like an unpleasant duty. I start wishing he would dump me so I don’t have to look like a b**ch again.

It’s a constant pattern and I don’t know how to break it. I am tired of hurting others, especially that in the begging I really trust my feelings and I really mean what I say. It’s freaking me out to learn over and over that my feelings can’t be trusted.

Has any of you experienced this? Do you have any theories, explanations, solutions?