Hey all,

Could really use some advice from the more experienced and clearer headed thinkers.

Met this girl on a dating app, conversation was stellar, she was only in town a few more days, so I made the effort to see her and it was spontaneous and very fun. We had a great time and even wanted to see each other again once she left. At this time, Im still pretty practical and know not to bet on anything, especially considering we are so far apart.

We continue to get to know each other and develop feelings and it’s really pleasant, despite the time zone difference we make it work. She sleeps late but doesn’t have work at the moment so it worked for us. I still felt guilty though and mentioned it a few times.

She manages to get a visa (she’s from Europe, im in Canada) and I even check out a place for her. All is well and we think we’re going to meet again soon! A few minor hiccups to this point, misunderstandings but still very strong. Snail mail, gifts, I was loving it. She was kind, sweet, generous, caring, she’s the most beautiful woman to me.

We video called almost daily for hours and spent most of our time connecting except when I was working obviously but I still found time to say hey.

Then COVID hit and I tried to be positive but as you all can guess, plans changed. That was March, it’s now June and I’m afraid, last month she told me she was losing the spark. Ever since then, the conversations are pretty one sided but I keep pushing to see if she was just having a phase.

I tried to convince her we can still make it work but she’s bringing other things into it. She wants space to get her life back together, find work, be closer with parents, figure out her career and path in life. She even said she can’t help her feelings but still thinks I’m amazing however, maybe sometimes I don’t understand her. She asked if it would be the end of the world if we weren’t meant for each other? I do respect her wishes and am giving her more space but I’m still messaging her goodnight, compliments, we still have small talk. She won’t give me affection anymore though, which was rather endless before. This hurts the most.

At this point, I’m pretty crushed. We’ve obviously invested a lot and I was still maintaining positivity. After a day of messaging her and feeling like I hit a wall she even asked if she had to block me. I found it kind of shocking to hear since we were so intimate and tbh I didn’t see it coming at all… She just asked that I be cool and normal and after I had a day or two of telling her how much I care for her, she even said she doesn’t like seeing my like this.

I let her know I’m not ashamed of my feelings and called her out on running with this narrative in her head where I was being needy when all I did was try to salvage things. She apologized for being hard on me, and said ‘but you are being annoying lol’. She asked for forgiveness.

After I called her out she sent me numerous voice messages and I replied along the lines that less is more with texting from now on and I’m not the overly emotional type of guy I feel like I was becoming and I’m going to take a step back.

What I’m trying to get after, was the sudden change due to losing respect for me? Did I underestimate those little miscommunications? Or because COVID really did just kind of change the whole perspective on things and that’s fair?

If I just stop reaching out, she knows I care, I can do that right? I would be the one missing out though because I love telling her how awesome she is.

I feel vulnerable for wanting this more than her. I’m generally not into games and don’t play the hard to get games.

What do I factor in and how should I proceed if I still have strong feelings?

Thank you if you read this 🙂