Backstory. Me(25f) and my bf (28m) are nevermets. Means we met online and haven’t met once. He’s from the USA and I’m from the Philippines so meeting up would be a bit hard. We have vid calls and we hang around and stuff. He’s my first boyfriend.

I read somewhere that it’s toxic if a partner romanticizes the relationship too much, which includes thinking of marriage to soon into the relationship. Now I didn’t actively think about marrying him. I just read a thread about prenups and i eventually just ended up imagining getting married with him (me walking down the aisle) but i realized what i was doing and stopped myself from digging deeper. Now i have always had issues with myself which makes me complicated and is honestly the reason why he’s my first real thing. But.. i love him. I do. When we talk, i always feel at ease and he helps me on my bad days and i couldn’t be thankful enough for him.

But.. am i being toxic in our relationship? Does me thinking about marriage mean I’m idealizing him? I love him and i want him to be happy. But i wouldn’t want him to suffer because of me. Any thoughts of this would be highly appreciated.