I (23 F) have had a crush on a guy in my class all the way through college. It started on the very first day of class. As soon as I met him I felt strangely drawn to him, before we ever spoke. Although we never became super close, the more I got to know him the more similarities there seemed to be between us. We have a similar sense of humour and share the same taste in music.

I’ve had crushes before, but this felt different from what I’ve previously experienced. I felt this weird connection to this particular guy for such a long time. Through college nothing ever happened between us, in fact I quietly liked him while he dated other people. But I still couldn’t shake my feelings.

Toward the end of college we became closer friends, and even after graduating we’ve maintained communication. We text from time to time and our conversations can sometimes go on for hours. Since graduating I’ve also come to learn from other people that he likes me too, and he has made several attempts to ask me out since.

The thing is, I’m not physically attracted to him, I never really was. The connection I felt was strong but when I would consider being in an actual relationship I couldn’t picture doing anything physical with him. Because of this I tried to convince myself that my feelings were platonic and I just felt connected to him on a deep, friendship level. I also don’t want to accept his advances for the sake of “testing my feelings” because I dont want to hurt his feelings or ruin what could be a great friendship.

For reference, I’ve never been in a relationship so I’m finding it very difficult to understand my feelings. I thought that after we graduated and stopped frequently seeing eachother that my crush would fade. But I still find myself thinking about him on a regular basis. Can you think about somebody for this long and not be attracted to them?