Hi all, 28(M) here. The title kind of says it all… I’m unsure of what to do and who I am. I often times feel like it’s a war between freedom and stability

I’ve only been in one serious relationship of 3 years and it was both the happiest and most miserable time in my life. Hindsight being 20/20 as it is, I know picking the WRONG person was the main reason for the misery, but it doesn’t change the fact that I push away anyone that dares to get close to me on a deeper level. I fear the finality of picking someone and sticking with them. Or maybe I fear commitment because it means I can’t just move on to a “better fit” without severely hurting the feelings of another, which tears me apart

I know I’m capable of being monogamous and content… I just don’t know though. I’ve only done it once and I only held onto that relationship because of personal ideals- not feeling. On the flip side, I’m not ugly, but I’m also not a standout stud and my more “temporary” angst stems from the fact that every girl I meet that truly intrigues me usually isn’t interested in me in the slightest, which is a blow to my ego as well

Honestly, I feel like a bad person and wish someone here could just magically tell me how not to be a bad person.