I’m at a point where I’m talking to a “friend” that’s a girl, but she has many friends of her own that are guys and girls. She may have slipped hints such as “when I hung out with this guy”, but that doesn’t really mean anything to me if she doesn’t mention a boyfriend. For context I’ve never had a relationship.

I’ve known her now for almost a year, we live on opposite sides of the country. We had a deep, 2 hour video call about stuff but I gotta say, I don’t know if she just likes to talk or is potentially interested in a relationship. It’s very hard to tell. Did I waste 2 hours of my life without asking if she’s single or not? Never have I said that it’s a date however, it’s really just a meeting with me trying my hardest not to view her through a romantic lens. In the back of my mind, I think she thinks I like her as more than a friend because we’ve hung out before with other people and I made it a point to be near her.

Whenever I prepare for a video call like this with someone I find attractive I get nervous because you don’t know what the other person thinks. They may like talking just to keep up with friends. My friend circle is so small that any interaction like this seems like a chance at a relationship, even though she may not be single.

Regardless, I am happy to call her a friend. Then again, she called me a “good friend” as well and makes me wonder if I’m friend zoned. But with no insight into how she actually feels or relationship status, I doubt I can ask relationship questions without destroying the friendship. After that call I just feel deflated with no sense of closure.

I already have enough friends. I’ve never had a romantic relationship or experience. I can’t say I remember meeting anyone that liked me the way I like her. That’s the bottom line.