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So, I worked up the courage to express to him that his form of coping was hard for me to understand. He responds that he just likes to cope by being alone and that is has “been very hard for him recently.”

I thought to make this update because for the past several days after he told me that, he began posting daily posts of a trip to the beach that day, one of which appeared to be him eating at a seaside restaurant. It was hard to tell as it was taken at night, but from across the table, it looked like a pair of elbows sitting with him. I assumed it was female as their clothing looked like a yellow sundress but I might be reaching there.

Important thing is that after speaking to my friends and mother, I decided to tell him exactly how all of this and his actions were making me feel. I decided against it for so long because I didn’t want to make it about me, especially if he was legitimately suffering. However, I just didn’t want to hide it anymore because it was how I honestly felt. Him consistently telling me he is dealing with something and spends his days alone were brought into question because it looked like he was with someone, and because it was strange for him to suddenly become super active on social media despite telling me he’s having a difficult time.

This is the message I plan to send him, would appreciate feedback:

“When you don’t communicate, it hurts because I do care and feel bad that I’m not doing anything to help. I feel like you don’t trust me; I know it’s not that far in, but if you’re looking to form a relationship building trust is important.

It’s not to say I don’t respect someone if they want to be alone. To you, you’re coping. But to me, what you’re doing isn’t reminiscent of someone who wants to be left alone. Becoming super active online and posting things you do is strange. To me, it felt like you weren’t hurting as badly as you said and are only saying this to give an excuse/reason to give me the cold shoulder and go about having fun.

I’m still romantically interested in you, so please out of courtesy if this is stemming from you being disinterested or finding someone else, let me know. As strongly as I take your word, I admit it has crossed my mind to wonder if you’ve just been going on dates with someone.

I would apologize for the long text, but everything is how I honestly feel. I wanted to hold it all back, but it’s just in my personality to strive to be open about something bothering me, and I still do want to help you and be there.”