Basically, In two instances in university, the women just ghosted me for literally no reason. In the first instance, I met this girl at a library and struck up a conversation with me and exhibited all the signs of interest: smiling, maintaining conversation, head tilt, playing with hair. She honestly didn’t have a cell phone so she gave me her school email. When I tried to strike up a conversation with her she just told me she doesn’t want to talk to me.

Another girl I met and struck up a convo with exhibited the same cues: smiling, playing with hair, interest, and she gave me her snapchat when I asked if she has any social media. When I tried messaging her over snapchat she just blocked me.

All these experiences have fucked up my self-esteem even worse. I’ve always struggled with insecurities about my appearence and I’m interpreting these events as basically confirmation that I’m ugly and that no woman will want me. When I try to be confident and outgoing I ultimately get fucked over. Post-covid I don’t even plan on getting a date. I’m planning on eventually killing myself if I’m forced to life a love of constant rejection and lovelessness. I think I’m just a hideous man that no woman would touch with a ten foot pole. I don’t know if exercising will even ameliorate my situation. I’m basically biologically destined to die alone.