This is a really long post so I apologize in advance, but I thought I should give you our whole history.

I (22f) met this guy (28m) on bumble around 3 months ago. We’re both students – I live in a shared house with 4 other students and he‘s currently staying at his parents‘ house but his Uni is actually in a city that’s a 7 hour drive away (he was originally planning to stay at his parents‘ place for two weeks but now it’s been over 3 months and I think it has something to do with me).

We texted for 3 weeks and then went on our first date. He came to my place, it’s a one hour drive. We went on a walk, watched some Netflix and had sex (I wasn’t really looking for anything serious back then so I figured we could have sex on the first date). Honestly, at that point I wouldn’t have been disappointed if we never saw each other again cause I didn’t think the date went that well. Not bad at all, just sort of awkward cause we didn’t have much to talk about (at least thats my opinion, but he said right after the date that he thought it went well and wasn’t awkward or anything).

However, the day after our date he sent me a pic of a cake he‘d baked and asked me if he should bring me some the next day, I said sure. So he drove to my house again the next afternoon and asked if it’s okay if he stayed the night. I was a little surprised but okay with it, so then we basically spent two days together, he left around 10pm the next day. Turns out, sex on the first date is a great icebreaker – we had a really good time and I realized I was starting to like him. So the week after, I asked him if he wanted to come to my place again and he happily did and stayed for 2 days again.

Then we made plans to go to a drive-in movie theatre in his town, we got tickets for two nights (the plan was for me to drive home right after cause otherwise I’d have to meet his parents). On the first night, I decided to ask him if he wanted something serious with me or not and that I don’t wanna see other people anymore. I know it might have been a little too soon (2 weeks after our first date…) but I really wanted clarity because I knew what I wanted. He said something like “the problem is, I normally live 7 hours away from here“. I told him I knew that and just wanted to see how/if things work out for us and that we could just try, no pressure. I also told him that I just wanted to know what I was getting myself into and that I would probably end things sooner than later if he wasn’t looking for something serious with me because I don’t wanna end up getting hurt. He said he liked that I communicated my thoughts so clearly and that we should try. I then told him that it‘s 1000% okay if he didn’t want to and that I just want him to be honest with me, but he reassured me that he wants to try as well. He also invited me to meet his parents so I stayed at their house for 2 nights and it went pretty well.

We see each other for 2-4 days every week and always have a great time, we get along really well. This last weekend, he met my parents when we stayed at their house for 2 nights. He’s the sweetest, most thoughtful man I‘ve ever been with: really listens to and remembers what I say, makes me little gifts, always makes sure to please me in bed, cooks/bakes for me etc. He’s also invited me to drive to go to his Uni town with him once I‘m done writing my bachelor‘s thesis which I‘m currently working on. I‘m pretty sure that he’s only staying here for me, I’m really happy with him overall.

The thing is: I‘ve noticed a few weeks ago that he still has bumble and tinder on his phone. I haven’t talked to him about it yet because I want to give him time but my heart sinks every time I see those apps on his phone. I don’t know if he’s still using them but he still gets notifications (not sure what they are, I only see the symbols. But the other day we were watching something on his phone and he got a “you have free swipes left“ notification lol). And he doesn’t make an effort to hide them? Could that mean anything? I‘ve always pretended like I don’t see them, which is probably stupid – I think I should have just asked him about it but I really wanted to give him space and see if he‘d delete them on his own. Also, last week he even opened bumble to show me our first messages… I saw that he didn’t have any conversations with anyone else going on so I guess that’s a good sign? But it could also mean that he just didn’t get any matches, idk. Totally missed my opportunity to ask him but I was so perplexed in that moment. And he’s obviously seen that my profile‘s deleted.

It’s been over a month now since we’ve had that ‘talk’. I‘ve decided to ask him if he’s still active on the apps the next time I see something when we’re on his phone together. I just don’t see the point of having them on your phone when you’re in a relationship…

I‘m sooo scared of what he might say though and I‘m currently second guessing everything. Sometimes I wonder if I forced him into this relationship by asking too soon, even though I told him I‘d understand if he didn’t want to get serious with me? In addition, we never specifically said we were exclusive/ official but he’s referred to me as his girlfriend and calls himself my boyfriend, has told some friends about me etc. What do you think?

I really can’t tell if I‘m just being insecure (which I definitely struggle with) or if this is something I should be worried about. It’s hard for me to see/think clearly about this so I‘d really appreciate your opinions.

Thanks for reading!