Ok so this is awkward as hell and I dont know if this is the correct reddit go this. However lets get the description out of the way I (31m) have been hacking my way through brier patches of psychos and the 1 good woman I’ve dated is moving to a different state to start her business and we broke up for her to do so.

As I said I’m a guy, I cook, work hard, provide what I can, im supportive and pretty much do everything I can to try and keep a relationship going, however this has done nothing to help me in the dating department. I know how I look but i would at least give me a solid 6/10 as far as looks go. I have tried every dating app and literally swiped and messaged every woman on those sites that I have anything in common with just to have a conversation. Only to be told by the sites “there is no one left” and all that is left are the pornbots, instathots, gold diggers, and dead accounts that are recycled.

Now I know that some will ask why I don’t just meet someone in public. Due to my prior dating experience that has not ended well and due to what my ex wife did to me I am not able to speak to women in person that I have an interest in. Its like My brain shuts down and I am literally scared to even say anything or even look at a person. I’ve tried therapy but that didn’t do anything. I’m not mentally capable of loving or knowing what loving someone is and my empathy for others is there but only to those close to me. I also am incapable of enjoying sex.I dont go out or interact with people if at all because even when the occasion is for me I always end up sitting or drinking alone because when I do try to talk I am usually just talked over or ignored unless I am providing something for someone.

I honestly have considered just living the rest of my life alone and disappearing because if I can’t give someone love how can I expect it if I dont even know what basic caring feels like? Any affection that has been shown to me causes me physical and emotional pain. On top of everything I dont want kids for personal reason.

Please I’m begging for help so that I dont end up the way I feel I’ll end up but I know the inevitably will happen.