31M, 5’9″, 150lbs, I workout, own a house and car, only make like 38K (tbh I’m never going to care about making a ton of money unless I have a family worth protecting and providing for, that comes first, career second for me). I was always told I was pretty ugly by girls growing up but I’ve lost like 70lbs and gained some muscle since starting to lift in april of 2017, cut my long hair etc. and this is the most recent photo of me – https://imgur.com/a/Pplrjzu

Honestly none of those factors are what is important about me. I’m a good dude with a strong sense of virtue, I know what I think and why I think it morally. That said I really don’t involve myself much intellectual masturbation or politics, that stuff is boring to me. All I’m doing besides surviving right now is singing for this band I joined at the start of the year and trying to make some cool stuff to leave behind. Although I worry that once we go public I might get a bunch of fake status seeking attention from a certain type of girl locally (it’s happened before in high school when I was playing or singing in front of people, it scared me off of music for a long time actually once I saw how quickly people would flip their script once they thought they could get something from you, but I was a dumb kid too).

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All that said I’ve been single for 4 years, I’ve never felt less attractive to women than I do now based on all the ghosting, and the very few first dates in that time that haven’t gone anywhere. I’ve tried being every version of myself I can think of and tried to digest plenty of self-improvement and dating content where I thought there was something valuable. Winging it, going in with scripted material, pretending to be something I’m not (that one works the best), but ultimately girls get distracted quickly by other dudes that are prettier or have more money. Doesn’t seem to matter whether I’m serious, playful, detached, just present or any combination of those things. I’ll stay friends with a lot of these girls on social media so I’ll often see that it never ends up working out for them… yet they’ll post all this romantic BS (WHICH I ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN) about relationship goals and what really matters, but they never actually go for that stuff.

I’m starting to really hate this culture, the social media validation seeking, the p0rn selling, onlyf4ns etc. etc. do people just not want to live meaningful lives where they value intimacy anymore, am I some kinda fuckin alien?? Do people really want to waste their one shot at life racking up invisible online followers and shit??

I’ve been picking myself up every few rejections once I get worn out, or sometimes after just one if I meet a girl I really dig and then turns out her enthusiasm was BS or something, but the more time that goes on, the longer it’s been taking to recharge the batteries. I’m at the point now where I literally have 0 energy (for dating) and don’t feel like I will ever have the energy again to even entertain a woman, even if you dropped an awesome girl who was legitimately interested in me in front of me tomorrow. I’m just too emotionally exhausted by how shallow people are and how easily they discard each other before even exploring the connection or getting to know you. Yes sometimes people are blatantly incompatible, but those girls are ignoring me to begin with, I’m talking about the instances where there is potential.

It feels like most women are sociopaths if I’m being honest, that’s just my experience, and it’s not a negative statement on the natural state of women at all, but it is a reflection of culture. Maybe the tiny percentage of dudes that women seem to fixate on are sociopaths, and that’s perpetuating the problem or rubbing off on women somehow, I don’t know. I’m not just blaming a gender here, but I have no idea how to pick myself up anymore, and I’m not interested in living a connection-less life either. I’ve taken plenty of breaks from attempting to date.