I (23F) have been single for about a year and have downloaded and deleted dating apps more times than I can count. I recently re-downloaded them again and have been more picky about who I swipe on. I don’t really care about all the traveling, their coffee addiction, or even how they look. I have been looking to see if we have similar values, such as whether we share the same political orientation and similar passions (such as helping people, volunteering, etc) . Yesterday after talking briefly with someone, I began wondering if online dating will ever be for me.

To me, online dating feels like an application process where two people basically agree that you have enough qualities (or you’re just attractive enough) to have a conversation and to eventually go on a date. There is not an initial connection there, instead you both have to build a connection. This kinda turns me off, because all the people I have dated, I have randomly met and an initial connection was already there. I end up questioning if I am settling for someone who hits all the boxes and vise versa. I guess I’m wondering if anyone feels like this, and any advice on how to approach dating. I’m close to deleting my apps again because I don’t want to view my future partner as someone who was adequate enough for me to swipe on and vise-versa. I also know online dating works great for people and they meet their forever partners there, so I’d also like to hear how that connection came to be.

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TL:DR

I hate online dating because it feels more like an application rather than the initial connection you feel when you meet someone in real life.