Back in mid Feb of this year, I began to develop GIGS for my now ex-GF. For those of you who are not familiar, GIGS is a “syndrome” wherein a partner begins to see other people/relationships outside their own and compare only the good of those people/relationships to the bad of their current relationship/significant other. This causes you, the person comparing, to see that the “grass is greener” outside of your relationship and that you would be better off with someone else.

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Now, GIGS is not actually the reason why I broke up with my ex. A myriad of complications, fights, and jealousy issues as well as past issues resurfacing all lead to an explosive and drawn out break up that was intensely painful for both parties. However, if it wasn’t for the slight case of GIGS I had began to develop prior to the night of drama erupting, I may have not broken up with her. Regardless, let me give you my advice and some questions to ask yourself when encountering a situation like this.

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When you start to develop GIGS, you do not see the good nearly as much in your partner. You start to “fall out of love” for them and only see their most annoying attributes. Has your partner gained a little weight? That will now gleam to you, and be the only thing you see. Has your partner been a little extra grumpy lately? That is all they are to you, and it is beginning to be a hassle to deal with it. The real way to alleviate GIGS is to ask yourself some of these questions:

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What are they going through right now? What am I going through right now? Are we spending too much time together? Am I okay seeing my partner with someone else? Do I love my partner for who they are and how they make me feel? You’ll find that the answers to these questions might help you realize what you would be missing out on if you dumped them. Think about when you first fell in love or some of your favorite memories. You abandon those memories, in a sense, when you dump them. Is such a thing worth it? Speaking from experience- when I dumped my ex, I had seldom thought about our favorite memories. Post break up, however, it was the only thing on my mind for months, and it made me agonize! I promise you, you do not want to be in that position.

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Do deep thinking and communicate with your partner effectively. Tell them what is bothering you and ask them if they have room to grow. Of course, if such issues persist, then perhaps the GIGS is a symbol that you need to move on and find someone new to share your happiness with. However, when all of this is considered, it can save you and your partner from a lot of hurt. Months later, I am at 90% and I slowly growing back up to 100%. Save yourself from the months of feeling 0%, and just talk with your partner people. Wish you the best of luck!