Author Archive: /u/Spiffy_Dovah

How do I stop seeking validation from women/dating?

I’ll try to keep this short.

26M living in DC. Without sounding arrogant, I would consider myself a very attractive dude with many positive qualities. I had ugly duckling syndrome growing up, so I was always trying to find out how to get girls to like me. I grew into myself once I turned about 22, so now I have a personality and the looks.

I have no problem getting attention. I get too much of it, it’s overwhelming. I go on plenty of dates, great dates even, but nothing goes anywhere. I get ghosted or things fizzle. I often feel used and unimportant. It’s been awful for my psyche, especially as I get older.

I want to take a break from dating to focus on my family/friends, career, and traveling. But for the life of me, I can’t keep away from the validation I get from dating. I’m constantly scrolling through these apps and making plans with girls who I know don’t have a vested interest in me.

I’m looking for advice from anyone who has been able to overcome something like this. I hate how badly I need attention to function. It’s like heroine. I appreciate any feedback you guys can give.

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