I’m starting to feel strongly about this so I felt I should share my thoughts, maybe it could help anyone trying to navigate the dating world.

Every time this person I was talking to messages me it includes something like a “Sorry to bother you, I know you have better things to do than to be talking to me!” When we first started talking he also would mention things like that he is uninformed in comparison to me on current issues, that I have my life together way better than him, that he could never do X Y or Z that I do, etc. I’m not sure if he perceives these to be compliments to me but I only see it as him insulting himself, and putting himself down. When he talks about himself it’s always “I know this isn’t very interesting but…” or “You’re going to think this is lame but…”

We were talking about meeting up and this is when it really got out of hand. He would say things like “Are you sure you want to meet me like you can meet any guy you want, any guy out there, etc.” “By the way if you change your mind I won’t be offended” “If you don’t want to go on a date, we can keep talking as friends, that would be fine with me I would understand” and this pushed me to the point where I just felt like if he wasn’t so sure about it then I really don’t want to meet him anyway.

The thing is, I was genuinely into him before! And it had nothing to do with me not showing interest back at him, his concerns had no basis coming from me, he would just put himself down all the time. I thought he was sweet, attractive, and interesting, but when you put yourself down so much you really are demonstrating to them that you don’t think you are attractive, nice, interesting, etc., and if you don’t believe it about yourself, I believe that no one else will be able to see it either. I know a lot of people have little to no confidence especially if they’re experiencing no luck in the dating world, I feel worthless all the time, but my advice would be to at least appear confident, and at the very least, not insult yourself.