I’m a very average 24yo guy who is super lanky and I got some self esteem issues. I never even kissed a girl, till yesterday. I feel like I have to write this, as we always read about the complaints and never the success stories. Again, I’m average/bellow average, no muscles whatsoever, quite socially awkward and not terribly interesting either.

I’ve been on tinder and bumble for over 5 years, and mostly just swiped out of boredom or when I was “horny”. In these 5 years, I’ve matched a couple dozen of girls, but most of them were pretty terrible to be honest. The matches resulted in a total of 3 dates.

Last week, I matched this girl whose profile was pretty boring, accompanied with terribly unclear pictures. But the conversation was surprisingly good! At least she actually responded to my messages and I didn’t feel like I had to lead the conversation. Things went OK and after a day or two SHE asked me out on a date. A couple days later we planned a picnic. I went there not expecting anything, which turned out being a good thing as that totally drained the stress. We talked for a couple hours and the conversation flowed nicely. Which never happened on a prior date.

A couple days later I invited her to my place, we cooked (aka tried to cook but talked way too much, dinner was ready at 11pm). After dinner we went for a walk and eventually settled around a campfire, I tried holding her hand but she didn’t really seem to respond (friendzoned?). Then, out of nothing, it was 4am, we agreed it was irresponsible for her to drive back.

We went to sleep in my bed, and were just laying there, yes, that was awkward. I could feel there was tension, but didn’t dare taking action. We talked, then the experience topic came on. Turned out we both had almost 0 experience, which was honestly hard to believe as she is a solid 8. She was once kissed by a guy and hated it, I had no experience whatsoever. The conversation got more personal, and she asked me if I also had this urge to cuddle. I was overwhelmed but obviously agreed. I had always been anxious of how to kiss, cuddle, talk. But then and there, it all seemed so easy and uncomplicated.

Nothing happened that night, we agreed to take it slowly and things have progressed since then. I’m still alive, I’m still the same person. With the right person, it’s not as complicated as everyone thinks it is.

Learning points/ tldr:

• Don’t let online dating drain you, online dating kinda sucks and succes is rare. If you’re desperate, GO OUT. If you don’t take it too seriously and have all the time in the world, yeah, online dating can work.

• If the conversation feels forced or unnatural, you’re probably not a good match, just move on.

• The girls you like or who like you are probably not on tinder.

• DO TALK about your insecurities

• BE OPEN

• Everyone has a chance

• No, you won’t be lonely forever, if I can do it, everyone can.