hi i’m 25f, never dated anyone, never kissed anyone, never even held anyone’s hand. literally nothing. i have tried online dating with no success (went on 2 dates with a guy who then ghosted me, and no one else was even interested in going on a date LOL… or they were vulgar/creepy and i didn’t want to continue speaking to them). i’ve been ghosted before when someone found out i’ve never dated anyone. people have told me it’s weird and sad that i’ve never dated anyone and that pity makes me SO ANGRY.

honestly i cannot understand why no one has ever liked me. (no one has ever even had a crush on me… it takes a special level of unattractiveness to make it to 25 and never have a guy be interested in you lol) i’m not so different from my friends, who have all had this experience even if they weren’t interested in dating. i’ve literally never even been catcalled (which i am grateful for because i have never been made to feel unsafe by men in public) – that must mean i’m very unattractive.

here is some info about me:

– i know looks are important. i am 5’0 and 115 lbs – am i too fat?? i personally don’t think i am, but i was teased for being fat growing up/my mom ridiculed me a lot for being fat, so maybe it’s true… but i eat well, exercise and take care of myself, but am i just not good enough? my face is objectively normal, i have clear skin and a nice smile. idk if there is something wrong with my appearance – i am ok with how i look but no one else seems to like it. i am VERY hygienic and clean. like maybe to an obsessive point

– i am in medical school so i must be kind of smart at least

– i have lots of friends and am known to be a very likeable person. i am always smiling and i laugh a lot. i’ve been told that i’m “exuberant, universally likeable, warm, generous, thoughtful, funny, sincere, a ray of sunshine”, etc etc… but maybe people are lying to me because they’re just nice and don’t want to hurt my feelings. also my voice is sometimes really loud which is probably not helping my case.

– i do not know how to flirt. i cannot act like a hot girl bc i am not one and am not interested in being ridiculed. i am just friendly and nice and sometimes quiet around people i don’t know very well. i am very wholesome and have been told that this is part of the problem and that i need to act like more of a “woman” which idk what it means

idk if this provides enough context… but i think i am overall doing ok in life and am not sure what is so awful about me that no one has ever liked me before?? what is it that men find important/attractive in women? i feel like i’m missing something really important but i just don’t know what it is. any advice would be appreciated.