Hey everyone, just looking for a little advice. I (25M) haven’t seriously dated anyone in awhile, so I don’t know much about how to effectively communicate with a girl (21F) I’m seeing. For some background, we’ve been talking for 7 or 8 months now. We’re both really busy with school and what not, which has complicated things the past few months. She asked me out on a date a few months ago, and after the date she said that for a few months she would basically be too busy to start a relationship. We agreed to delay things for a little while but would still talk in the meantime.
At first, we talked all the time, but it’s been slowly getting less frequent. When we do talk, everything’s great. She still initiates and mentions hanging out in passing but lately hasn’t set aside any time for it. I know that usually means someone’s not interested, but I do trust that she has a lot going on. At this point, I don’t know if she’s not interested and doesn’t want to hurt my feelings or if she’s still interested but genuinely too busy. Just from reading this, I’d expect people would assume that it’s the former, but knowing her and what she has to do I really believe it could be for either reason.
I want to bring it up with her, but I don’t know how to do that without coming across as needy or like I’m taking things too seriously, especially since we’re not ‘official’ or anything. I’m hesitant because I don’t want to make her feel like she HAS to text or call me all the time – that doesn’t really matter to me and would just stress her out more than she already is. I refuse to be another obstacle to her being successful because I do genuinely care about her. The issue is that I don’t know where our relationship stands and have absolutely no experience talking about things like that. Should I just ask her if everything’s okay and go from there?
Thanks for reading all of that – I really do appreciate people who take the time to help strangers. I don’t have anyone to talk to about relationship stuff, so this is usually where I go.
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