So I [27F] met this guy [28M] on Tinder a few months ago. He’s a lawyer and I’m in the medical field. He’s an average looking man, I would say I’m a better than average looking woman.

On our first date we met for drinks at a bar and talked for five hours straight. The conversation flowed effortlessly and we had a lot in common. After the date he texted me saying he had a great time.

A week later I was out with some friends and was horny as hell, so I texted him and asked what he was up to. He told me he was at a bar around the corner with some work friends. I asked if he wanted to meet up and he said yes, so I made the 10 minute walk (by myself, late at night, in a rough end of town no less…) to meet him. We talked and drank until the bar closed at midnight, at which time I asked if we could continue drinking at his place. He said yes and seemed excited.

When we got back to his place one thing led to another and we had sex. It lasted around 3 hours. I was enthusiastic and giving, as was he. He went soft a few times and didn’t cum, but I put that down to alcohol, SSRI’s or something of that nature. Again, he sent a follow-up message the next morning and all seemed well.

I have texted him multiple times since then asking if he wants to meet up. The first time I invited him over for drinks but he couldn’t come as he was overseas. The second time he said I could come over to his place, but when I arrived he didn’t buzz me up to his apartment. I was standing outside in the rain for 10 minutes, calling and texting, until finally I gave up and Ubered home.

I sent a message the next day:

Me: Hey, why did you leave me hanging last night?

Him: Hi, I’m really embarrassed, I’d had a few drinks with friends yesterday afternoon and I fell asleep. I’m so sorry, I feel awful!!

We haven’t spoken since then. I am still interested in him because he’s a nice guy and the sex was fun, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in me, or at least he is one second but not the next. I’m pretty, I’m emotionally stable, I want sex – what seems to be the problem here?

What are the possible reasons for a guy acting so hot and cold like this?