TLDR; Girlfriend (20M) mentally drained from alcoholic father, becoming disrespectful, no longer intimate. Don’t know what to do…

From now I’ll just call my girlfriend “Emily”.

So, I’ve been dating this girl Emily for over 4 years (ever since high school). We have a lot of similar qualities, I enjoy time with her and we share a deep connection but of course, as do most relationships we have had our fair share of arguments and have broken up a few times for a few months each. Needless to say, it’s like any relationship, I love her and I feel like she loves me however we have a few issues where I need advice on…

First of all, I should mention that Emily has had a lot of issues in her family and it makes her quite depressed given the current situation shes in. Her parents are divorced but the father is quite unstable mentally (Drinks and makes bad decisions). This has gone on for years and I have been quite supportive along the way but recently It has impacted our relationship a lot.

Emily is rarely supportive, takes a lot of things out on me, makes the smallest things an argument, and doesn’t have room for any error in the relationship. To a degree, I understand this is because of her situation but I still don’t know why I can’t be respected regardless? I feel like she doesn’t see that I’m trying to help her and I only feel like she remembers the negative things I do? She used to be very interested in me and showed she cared on a deeper level.

Another issue is that Emily says that currently, she doesn’t feel intimate anymore and we never really have sex (Or if we do she does it for me). Again I understand this is probably due to her father and she says its just because she doesn’t feel sexy anymore (but is still attracted to me). Again, she used to be very intimate and sexual. I’m a very sexual person but feel like I can wait for her. Although I still think it is a very important part of a relationship so I can’t withhold that aspect of myself forever… (so the sex isn’t a huge issue for me for a while).

I’m well-groomed, keep up with my personal development, have a degree/job, goals, ambitions, etc. I’m an outgoing introvert, I am not overly materialistic and prefer strong connection with friends, family, and my partner.

I just don’t know If I can handle been in this relationship for much longer given the current status. I really do love this girl but she can be a bit mean sometimes and doesn’t really respect me anymore.

I just want her to respect me and appreciate that I’m an external entity actually investing in her life.

She is a brilliant girl, and I truly want her to be happy.

Thank you very much for reading, any advice is much appreciated.