So I had been talking to a woman on Hinge and then on facebook (sometimes through video call) for a couple of months.

We finally met one day (we met outside at a park and we kept a distance but walked sorta together while talking lol). She is from Thailand and seems to be pretty nice, although communication was difficult at times. However, she was significantly heavier than in her pictures.

I can’t tell you all how many times this has happened. My pictures are pretty representative of how I actually look. I’m 6 feet tall and about 180 lbs. I’m SLIGHTLY overweight but only just. Not really “fat” or obese at all.

I felt very conflicted but this is usually grounds for me to cut things off, but I really hate doing this after having spent a decent amount of time chatting. For a few days I even tried to convince myself to give her a shot, but for some reason I really just do not find heavy girls to be attractive. She seems perfectly normal and nice but being the shithead I am I find myself fancying less heavy women.

Yesterday I told her I didn’t want keep trying. In fact, I deleted all of my dating apps. I still have a job, and I have a lot of things outside that that keep me pretty busy. I’m also buying a house soon. I’m studying for a certification too. I basically feel like I shouldn’t be dating right now. With how much I put on my plate, plus the whole COVID 19 thing going on makes real dating nearly impossible. All I’d be able to do until the shutdowns are totally lifted is meet her outside somewhere.

Mostly venting. I wish I wasn’t such a shallow ass. I probably could have given her a chance but I’m just tired of being mislead about one’s physical fitness level. It’s important to me…I jog a lot and have lost a ton of weight. But I also feel kinda bad for having wasted her time. She didn’t plead with me or anything at all or even unfriend me. I’m guessing it didn’t hurt her feelings too much.