To start with, I fucked up and shouldn’t even be in this situation. But now I’m in this situation and it messes me up.

I lived abroad for 6 month this year and came back a few months ago. While I was abroad I had some roommates, including a girl who was in the same situation as me. We got along very well from day 1 and after a few weeks we were always together. After 3 or 4 months, I started to wonder if I actually had feelings for her, and about the same time I became pretty sure that she liked me.

But I’m shy, I basically only knew her there which made me fear that it biased my perception of her, and she was very different to my friends at home. All of this to say that I messed up and that we left after the 6 months with a very long and meaningful hug and nothing happened in this period, which I now see as mistake. Now that I’m home and back with my everyday life, I miss her a lot, think about her a lot and I understand how much she actually means to me.

But now we live 1500km apart, in different countries, and we fear we won’t meet for a while because of the global situations and the closed borders. On the other hand, we used to text a lot and now it’s kinda fading away, and we never acknowledged the situation and the feelings that we both have (had?) for each other.

I feel like now would be quite a bad time to do anything because we’re not talking and we won’t see each other for a while but on the other hand I’m scared that if I don’t say anything we might just both go on different paths.