Infatuation is bad, I get it. It's unattractive and people often see it as a fleeting obsession rather than actual love/liking someone. But can that idea go too far?
The guy I'm currently dating (M+F, both in our early 20's) said the reason we were casual for so long and the reason he set such strict boundaries early on is because he thought I was infatuated with him. He'd hurt those kind of girls in the past under the strict sense that he only wanted to be with someone if it's deep and meaningful. I understand that and lived by that rule too, but it really got me thinking… When I'm attracted to someone, I make sure they know I'm interested without giving too much away. And I really thought I was good at that. When he told me he thought I was just another blindly infatuated girl, I thought to myself "Oh, so girls can't show love/interest anymore??? What's so bad about saying you want to see him, giving him compliments and wanting to buy him coffee?? What was so bad about making myself available (but not always) and making myself vulnerable when we had deep conversations?"
Now that we're exclusive he is not afraid of being vulnerable and showing love/affection. But I'm still trying to comprehend the way he thought about me for an entire year. It sounded so guarded. I don't know how I managed to stick around the guy I liked who only saw me as "oh she'll get bored of me soon" (until he actually confessed he liked me and wanted to date me). I feel like so many people miss out on dating opportunities because of this mind set. They don't take the risk! Yes, she really likes you but how are you going to know you like her back until you try?? Sure, it's not good to be with someone who is infatuated with you and puts you on a pedestal, but what if you're the type that really wants to show how much you appreciate a person? When was it such a bad thing to show that you want to get to know a person? Are some of us too strict on love?
submitted by /u/teal_lantern27
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