Best first date, but no second.

I live alone and currently have to work at home as well, I’ve been doing a number on myself with this going through my head so would appreciate a strangers advice.

I (M28) received a text from an old colleague (F28) at 0130 about a month ago which was clearly meant for someone else. I replied to her saying she had the wrong person but a conversation started there and we began texting one another very regularly.

Saturday before last, I asked her for a date at mine, cook a meal and watch a movie (lockdown trumped my normal date ideas!), I was thrilled when she said yes and we started texting more. Decided what I was going to cook and practised it twice in the week so I knew it would be good.

On date night she arrives at 2000 and we start chatting, eat food a little later and it’s really going well. We watch a horror movie and get a little closer/cuddle during scary bits and it’s 0030 but she doesn’t show any sign of wanting to leave. We chat more, have some wine and start talking about conspiracy theories and watching little documentaries of them on YouTube together. We then start kissing a bit and she starts being very close with me. It’s now about 0230 and things are pretty heated but she says she has to go. I get that, it’s first date and normally wait a little anyway. She starts like really slowly getting ready to leave, asking who people are in the pictures in my home and pretending to hide in the cupboard and other cute/odd things. She eventually goes home, texts me saying she wishes she didn’t leave and some flirty messages.

I go to sleep thinking how well the date went, and how great she was, keen to plan another date the next day. My sister and friends who I’d spoken with about this ask how it went in the morning and I’m just so buzzed sharing how good a time we had. I text the girl around 1100 saying I had a great time and would love to see her again. She reads it and leaves it blue ticked until late evening and replies she has a great time but didn’t like me in ‘that way’.

I’m so lost at what happened, it’s like one second she was super in to me and we were having a great time, then she sleeps on it and doesn’t even want to go for a second date. I’m really disappointed that I didn’t see an indicator or know what it is about me she doesn’t like. Is it because I didn’t sleep with her – I felt it was odd she stayed so late and then decided she wanted to leave. How did we have such different first dates? We haven’t spoke since and I kinda want to message her and ask or say something but I don’t know what. I hate looking back at things like this and knowing that I didn’t try or do anything afterwards. I’d rather make mistakes than dwell on what ifs.