Hello, 18 F here. As you can tell from the title, I’m paranoid about my boyfriend cheating on me, and I don’t know what to do about it or control that insecurity. I got out of a year long toxic relationship back in October and a couple months later I found out that he’d cheated on me with two exes of his. Along with that, he had been talking to different girls on social media.
I guess that screwed me up and made me even more insecure than I already was initially. I always had the worry that I wasn’t good enough and it proved to be true. Since October, I was over my ex boyfriend, but I wasn’t over the shock and pain. In December I started talk to this guy, my current boyfriend, 20 M, and eventually we started dating in the end of January. We’re still going strong, he’s so amazing. He’s kind, funny, caring, affectionate, reassuring, overall a huge upgrade. However, I can’t shake off the paranoid feeling that he’ll cheat on me.
It’s caused problems, on my behalf I will admit. I’m so insecure about what I have to offer, if anything. I worry if I’m good enough, if I’m the best he’s had, what I lack in, if he lowkey secretly just feels bad for me and is staying in this relationship because of pity. Irrational, I know. I don’t know, I always think if he’s talking to girls secretly, or if he’s in contact with an ex, or has girls over. These thoughts hurt my mind and take a toll on me. I lose sleep thinking back to the cheating and the possibility of cheating. I feel like if I don’t take care of this, I’ll lose him, I’ll lose myself even more. How could I control this? Has anyone ever felt like this before? What could I do?
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