Confused at 21

I’m 21(m) going into my senior year of college. I’ve never had sex and it’s something that bothers me from time to time. I don’t freak out over it (usually), but sometimes idk if im okay with it anymore.

I’m probably gonna sound really douche-y here but it’s important to understand where my head is at. Im a pretty good looking guy who has always played sports and is fit, and i have hooked up with a decent amount of girls in college. The opportunity has presented itself a fair number of times, but each time the girl has either directly said or implied that she wants a relationship. I don’t have it in me to lie to a girl just to sleep with her, and sometimes i hate that i can’t (idk if most guys can but society has painted that picture in my head). Then i hate myself for wishing i could be that lying ass.

I have only been into one girl enough to consider dating in college and she didn’t feel the same way, and after that i know i won’t date unless i feel like that towards a girl. I go to a lot of sorority events and most of my friends think I hook up all the time. I never really planned on waiting for the “right” girl, but sometimes i wonder if that’s subconsciously playing in the back of my head or not. It makes me feel like a freak when i think about it for to long (rn) even though i know lots of great people who haven’t either.

Lastly, any advice on whether or not your first time being with someone significant matters would be appreciated. Should i just find someone i know is looking for the same thing? Should i find someone i’m really into even if that takes a long time?